"Galaxies"

 

"We Chose Each Other, You Acting Like You Chose Me."

                         ~Jay Z -Sunshine

I found myself meandering down Newkirk Avenue one cloudy day before work.  I had no destination; simply enjoying the solitude.  It was candle season; it was time for The Liminal to fully illuminate.  The last few weeks had been so hectic, it was becoming increasingly difficult to find extended periods of time to be alone...and so, I was relishing even the tiniest moments.  I paused momentarily in front of one of my favorite crystal shops; debating whether or not to enter.  The crowd appeared to be miniscule.  A quick scan from the storefront window, I identified 3 bodies-2 patrons, and 1 cashier arranging large pieces of Jade onto a tourmaline plate.  "Perfect."  I said aloud with a smile; happily skipping through the entrance.  I needed to be inspired...I wanted to create something very special; just for me...I just didn't know what...Orbs of golden citrine hung from the ceiling; with flashes of light glinting from one stone to the next...Jars filled to the brim with Pyrite as far as the eye could see...If I couldn't find inspiration here, then it would simply have to find me...after all, I don't chase, I attract...Taking a beeline straight to the Indigo Alcove, I took a seat on my favorite bench ordained in Lapis Lazuli and magenta pillows.  I began to half-heartedly flip through a copy of The Crystal Bible; mostly annoyed that The Crystal Encyclopedia I was really looking for was missing.  My eyes rolled over in the direction of the other 3 occupants-"definitely the culprits!" I said to myself very matter of factly.  Glancing down at my watch, I set a silent alarm.  "One Hour Avri; The Crystal Flame awaits!"  I said with a sigh.

The next thing I knew, I was in The Crystal Flame; inundated by a sea of tipsy bachelorettes.  One bubbly blonde girl sat perched atop my back bar belting out lyrics to the song about 2.5 seconds behind the playback....other girls from the group were attempting to keep their balance and composure long enough for pictures to be taken.  The Bride to Be never left my side; happily chatting away about her future plans as I cleaned candles.  I wasn't at The Crystal Flame though; I was in Bayview; desperately wanting to work on my latest idea for The Liminal.  Don't get me wrong, I still loved The Crystal Flame...shit just hits different when everything you do is directly for your own benefit.  I literally felt like a new Mom returning to work with all the guilt that post partum brings.  The to-do list I had made  before leaving Bayview this morning popped into my head....Had I remembered to grab it?  Moments later, my watch vibrated , notifying me a picture message had been received.  Glancing down, I tapped the screen; it was from Landon.  "You left this on the bed next to your laptop, and I could feel your anxiety rising from all the way over here.  Fix your face.  I love you, have a good day.  Yes, you are a maniac.😎 "  I stopped mid eye-roll and smiled; it was my list.  I can't get mad at the truth-or that he clocked it!  I quickly scribbled, "Thank you; I Love you more." across the screen; pressing send just as the beat dropped on my song; I was next up for Karaoke Bitches!

It wasn't on purpose, but with the change in season, so did my temperament; and any real desire to be social.  Already super-selective on what I choose to give my energy to, I opted instead to turn it inward; focusing on me, the brands Landon and I were building together, securing our future, and maintaining our Peace.  Between Melanie's big move, and Landon and I focusing on us, Mel and I hadn't seen each other in almost a month.  It was time for me to lay eyes on her.  I slammed the gate down on The Crystal Flame at precisely 5pm and made my way to the Cafe to meet Mel for happy hour.  When I arrived, she was already seated in our favorite booth with a pitcher of White Sangria; happily nibbling away on a slice of orange.  "Hey Sister!", she squealed in delight; running over to tackle me.  "Aw, I missed you too, now get Off me and stop being so wild!"  I said, steadying myself against the back of  a high backed stool to regain my balance.  "I ordered us raspberry wings, calamari, and fried mushrooms!  Come On!  Sit!"  Her energy was giving me a second wind...  

I ate and sipped; sitting mostly in silence as she chatted about everything that was going on in her life.  Even though he had been relatively quiet, somewhere tucked off and mostly minding his married business, Drew still  managed to make his way into the conversation.  His peace seemed to be disturbing hers-and that's it.  He wasn't calling, texting, requesting clandestine meetings, OR breaking their daughter's heart.  He was simply making a conscious  decision to focus on himself, and this was simply more than she could bear.  "Oh girl please!  You have been wishing death on this man since the day you walked away from him.  I knew you were full of shit, because now that you have the closest thing to death, Radio Silence, and you STILL not happy!"  I said, rolling my eyes.  "Oh shut up Avri!"  She said, attempting to look hurt.  "Keep his name out your mouth psycho, before he pops the fuck up like Jake from State Farm!"  Funny thing is, in the back of my mind, I knew THAT was precisely what she wanted to happen...

Almost 2 hours later, I was walking down Richmond toward the direction of my house in the brisk Fall air.  It was unseasonably cool, but I didn't mind.  I wrapped my houndstooth scarf around my neck one more time.  I knew my house was teeming with activity.  One of my nieces had just made the announcement that she was having baby #3.  The news was met with much shock and blank stares.  I had no opinion on the matter.  If you like it, I love it.  My mind lingered over the encounter I had just had with Melanie.  I thought back to the conversation, trying to recall what we had talked about.  I remembered the details of the move, how she was up for 24hours, the current cases she was working on, her relationship irritations, her unhappiness-yet gratitude for her new apartment, Hope's girlfriend and current school status, her brother and his motley crew, the nothing going on with Drew, and Finally, her next to Puerto Rico... 

 "Damn Bitch, did you get to say anything about what was going on with you?!"  I did recall attempting to interject a few times with the current goings on in my life, but was swiftly curbed anytime I tried to bring up anything about the growth of The Liminal, or simply acknowledge how peaceful my life had been.  I was beginning to feel like now that were falling into place for me, and Landon and I had, at long last, found our rhythm, what I had to say was no longer relevant.  If it wasn't drama filled, stressful, or the creation of problems that didn't exist, then what I had to say didn't deserve her full attention.  "Wow."  I said aloud softly.  Could I really be outgrowing ALL of the people in my life?  Had my growth truly become a source of contention for my friends?!

Finally in my room, I found my favorite little person sitting on the edge of my bed, belting out the words to the Boo York soundtrack along with Elecxxa.  Her entire face lit up as I entered the room; ferociously waving, however, not missing a single note.  At the conclusion of the song, at long last, two little arms wrapped around my waist.  "Hey Avri!  How was your day?!  What took you so long?!  Where have you been?!"  She fired out in rapid succession.  "I went to hang out with Mel after work, DANG MOM!"  I said, laughing as I tickled her.  "Mel?!  Where is she?!  Did you bring me anything?!  Why didn't you come get me?!"  Kalynne asked.  "Sorry love, this was a big girls only date, no nieces allowed."  I said, as I pulled a Halo orange and fresh smoothie from my bag to hand over.  She smiled; taking them both; then quickly pursing her lips.  "Nieces should always be allowed!"  she said.  I have a Flobox tournament scheduled for later, you think you can make me some wings to snack on?!"  Kalynne asked, with prying hands and pouted lips.  "Oh girl BYE!  Put that lip up.  I'll make you some wings AFTER I can confirm the completion of your homework!"  I said; attempting to sound stern.  "Ok!" she said brightly; bounding out the door and down the hall to her room.  I prompted Elecxxa to change the station to Lofi Jazz as I slipped out of my shoes.  After preparing Kalynne's wings (careful to place mine and Landon's in a separate container), and taking a shower, I asked Elecxxa for the time; it was 5 minutes to 10.  I grabbed a fresh tube of charcoal toothpaste, fuzzy socks, and a throw blanket to place in my overnight bag.  As I was pulling a hoodie down over my head, a text message flashed across my phone screen, "On your way yet?!"👀

I could not wait to get to Bayview and tell Landon about my day.  Nothing had actually happened, but that realization I had come to on my way home from the Cafe was sill bothering me.  It was obvious too..."What's the matter?!"  Landon asked, as soon as he laid eyes on me in the doorway.  "I am an Island."  I said, pouting and burying my face in his chest; pretending to sob.  "Yes.  Yes you are...Which we have always known, and one of the main reasons why I Love You.  Everything you need, you already have inside." Landon said; kissing me on the forehead and closing the door behind me.  "So what happened?!  Who did you let in?!  Who bothered you?!  Lemme guess...Melanie!"  He quipped; looking dead at me; awaiting a response.  I nodded in agreement, then slowly laid out the details of what transpired.  "IDK, it just feels like, none of my friends are happy; yet it's all by the choices they made, and continue to make.  I wanted different, and so I chose differently-real simple.  I am in an amazing space right now where I am actually very happy; to the point I am glowing.  I don't have any bad news to report-Thank Goddess-so does that mean because what I have to say isn't depressing or damaging to my self esteem, then it doesn't matter?!  My friends can only be there for me when I am in pain or emotionally unsound?!"

Landon pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly.  "Nah baby, that's not it at all.  You're right, you are growing, expanding, and making the type of moves to ensure you always come out on top.  You wanted something completely self-sustained that nobody could take away.  You didn't just want it, you actually went out there and did it; and you're doing it everyday.  Any MFer is capable of a dream; You produce results.  Do you know how many MFers is still just talking?!  When all that shine is reflected on a dull surface, what happens?!"  He asked, incredulously.  "It doesn't reflect back."  I said intently.  "Exactly.  Self-sustained Peace comes with the kind of light that is going to irritate anyone who isn't on that level, or at the very least, have any intentions of getting there.  Don't mistake what I'm saying; you better not dim your light for NOBODY, or make yourself smaller to make someone else feel more comfortable in their mediocrity.  Fuck that-and stop taking in all that negativity.  None of that shit is your fault; don't be a punching bag."  Yup, I'm giving this man head twice tonight...

"The only things you may have too much of are emotions and forehead-everything else is just right."  Landon added, kissing it twice.  "See, it's so big, I gotta kiss it two times!😆   Wait, didn't you make wings?!  Where are they?!"  He inquired.  "Right over there on the counter, waiting on you to make one of those famous mac-n-cheeses with a buttery crust to go with them..." I said with a slight grin.  "Bet.  you tryna be funny, but I'm about to 'Blow Your Mind' in my Styles P voice; Me and my Microwave Baby!"  Landon said grinning.  lol, I can't wait😄...   

Thank You So Much for Your Support!  Please Check out my Website for Other Fun Reads, Tons of Other Content; Including Animated Shorts of Avri & Landon, and Website Products...Avri Has a Candle In The Liminal Shop Called Glow...AMAZE-BALLS!!!  Click the Links Below...

 

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