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Who Is Avri James??!!

I'm going thru it right now!!

I can't stand it when folk say, "I need to find myself!"  What exactly do you mean?  How can you have misplaced your own person?!  But you know what, I think I have lost sight of who I am, and what I want from somebody else.  It's been that way for a long time.  I've just become a master at pushing past my own feelings and keepin on, adapting to my situation, thinking every one of those could be the "One".  I don't want to do that anymore.  I want to feel like me again, I want to be in love.

To begin my search, I guess I need to learn myself all over again, and remember what my past taught me from one relationship to the next about where I want to be.  Failed or not, there is a lesson in each, and I intend to go back and collect them all. So order to really know me, and to figure out where I'm going in this emotional labyrinth, we need to go back, way back, back into time...

Love is an emotion that is learned.  The people that teach you how to love forever mold your ideas about love and can alter your perspective.  The first time you experience it is within your family, but at some point, we grow, and begin to experience love from outside sources.  What you learn at home, however, shows you what your looking for.  In some cases, it shows you exactly what you don't want, but nevertheless, it serves as a gauge for relationships to come.

I have always been ahead of my time, and it was this very thought that crossed my mind the first time I fell in love.  His name was Jason, and shattered all of my childish notions of what I thought my first love would be like.  He was quiet, but strong.  He wasn't book smart, but far from illiterate, and let's face it, I OWNED that whole brainiac thing.  I would see him everyday, just hanging around with his friends, and he seemed to have the greatest sense of humor.  He seemed like so much fun, somebody I really needed to know.  Although I'm super-confident, it is not for lack of being shy, so I just watched him for a while.  Like anything else in life I wanted to be good at, I studied him.  I wanted to learn the perfect way to position myself so he would think he was approaching me, and I needed to learn exactly what to say when he did.  So how do you accomplish this when your intended doesn't even know he's on your radar?  You figure out who you know who knows him, and you come up with the perfect accidental on purpose 1st encounter.  I found my ally in Marcellis.

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