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Showing posts from July, 2021


  It's amazing how the psyche works; it will go to fantastic lengths to protect us from pain.  My mind was constantly doing this without me being aware.  Each day, these walls would come up, fortifying me, and blocking me from my feelings for Landon.  I didn't allow myself to feel ANYTHING for him on a daily basis.  They were too strong.  It was like trying to take hold of the wind-they were a force of nature.  No matter what I tried to do, they just continued to GROW...The only way to deal is to ignore them altogether.  Every once in a while, it's too much, and it all comes spilling out-in the nastiest ways.  Sometimes I shock myself with what I'm capable of saying.  Afterwards, I feel both better AND horrible simultaneously.  It's like a much needed release, but then I'm embarrassed because I lost it.  I absolutely HATE not being in control of my emotions, but the fact that I let Landon see it, really burns me up!  I used to beat myself up, wondering why I cou


  When it comes to love, we always crave the big gestures.  It's because of the fact that they are so few and far between.  Or perhaps it's in those gestures that we get a glimpse of how someone truly feels.  It's something in their willingness to throw all caution to the wind that we identify with and long for...Our tattoos had us on both on Cloud 9 for a while.  So much so that I found I wasn't paying attention to much else-like the fact that all that nothing Landon and I had been stuck in for months was still looming ALL AROUND; unchanged.  My summer abroad was going to have to wait-my blog had taken an unexpected, yet pleasant turn towards LITT, and I was going to be busier than ever!  There were even talks of Avri James being PUBLISHED!  Can you Imagine?!  I just couldn't believe it... One Saturday morning, I came across an article that discussed the Divine Feminine and the purpose of this energy here on Earth.  One particular passage resonated with me louder


  "Out here in the world I'm not alone; As long as I have you, I've got a home..."  SA Peace is a conscious choice.  In order to have and maintain it, you have to CHOOSE it every single day.  I was so caught up in my own emotions that I lost sight of everything.  The further apart we seemed to get, the harder it became to focus on what was ahead of us.  It was what pushed me to the edge, and feeling like we would NEVER get there.  I lived in constant fear that the past would repeat itself, and I would be left alone to figure it all out again.  Truth be told, my strength is overrated...It was time for a RESET.  Once we let it all go, we were able to FLOW.  Complete surrender was the ultimate testament to self-love.  Turning your back on your ego to go after what you truly want is damn near impossible; and yet, my elation is UNMATCHED.  Absolutely NOTHING feels like this; EVERYTHING was better.  Waking up in the morning felt amazing.  Knowing my day was going to start w