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Open Letter

 The one thing that resonated in my mind after the conversation with Adonis was that burning question, "Do you still feel Him?!"  My heart would only let me answer honestly.  So what was still haunting me, was it the fact that I had been brought face to face with a truth that I had been fighting so desperately to get away from?!  Or was it the fact that I was confessing it to a soul that had absolutely no bearing on our situation?!  I wasn't sure...but what I did know, is that I wanted to tell Landon, and I needed to do it before I lost my nerve.  He and I had been speaking on occasion, having mostly casual conversation, proceeding with the utmost caution.  It was time, however, for us to dive back into the forever that we were, and face each other, and our future, as the evolved, COMPLETE individuals we had grown into...It was time to OWN it...

Something that has resonated with me throughout my entire journey back to myself is that forgiveness is for ME, not the offending person.  It is a release of any and all pain harbored, as it was assuming to never really mine to bear.  I never really thought about the way certain things effected me, assuming that if I am able to push past the pain and move on, no real damage could be done.  As I grow older, I just beginning to realize just how detrimental that can be.At some point, it Always manifests itself-generally in the most negative of ways.  through sheer determination, Strength of Will and the BLESSINGS of the entire Universe, this too shall pass, starting RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.  Since reuniting with my Twin flame, I have experienced a full spectrum of emotional capability and perseverance that surprised even me.  If I am to ever ascend, and come into complete oneness with my purpose, then I have to honor how I feel at all times, regardless of the outcome.  In order to have what it is we deserve, we must continue to challenge all preconceived notions and be brave enough to maintain our own course; choosing how our destiny is to be written.  That includes releasing all the things that no longer serve our higher purpose; learning from the errors, and then letting go…Yea, Ok, Avri; so how do you approach such a topic with a man you have been tip-toeing around for the past year?!  Easy, by writing him an Open Letter... I need to get this shit out uninterrupted…So let's go back to the beginning, where Our heart broke into two pieces; one for each of us to carry...

Dear Landon,

You and I, wasn't something I could have ever imagined; but that's how the Universe works-always with intentions toward our highest good.  for the life of me, I still cannot tell you what drew me in; closer to you.  A small,(then) unidentified voice inside me was urging me on; it said, "Don't listen to your head, it doesn't know as much as you think!  Can you FEEL that?!  It's REAL, and it's YOURS...GO GET IT!!!  Follow that feeling, TRUST in it, and just see what can happen..."  When your higher self presents itself with soo much vulnerability in a world and time where any apprehension is viewed as weakness, a request like that simply CANNOT be ignored.  And so, with eyes wide shut, I took a leap of pure faith, and gave my and mind over to the endless possibilities of US...It was Magic; from Day 1.  It was discovering a part of me that I never knew was there, let alone missed.  Our thoughts and emotions, all of it, perfectly in sync.  We still had the rest of the world to contend with, but it was on OUR terms.  Nothing and No One could ever come between us; we simply would not allow it.  My thoughts and feelings were completely open and available to you at all times, which felt amazing.  I had absolutely nothing to hide, and really wanted you to know and feel that, from the inside out..

As it so often does, life creeped in, at the pinnacle of us discovering one another, putting time and space between us. We BOTH let go, because it was easy.  We are equally responsible for allowing our light to dim.  for a long time, I was in pain, immense pain because I felt abandoned; knowing full well you would never have left my side if I was willing to exhibit the real strength it would have taken to hold on.  I couldn't see the forest for the trees; I was always Our eyes; and so, neither could you...When you and I reconnected, our energy immediately collided; an instantaneous reconnection of souls into,  one being.  You could SENSE ME; not even knowing for sure I was really here...but you FELT ME, and you followed that,  came looking, and FOUND ME...what transpired from that moment on, was indescribable.  Everything was soo intense.  Anything that happened that remotely  resembled pain was unbearable for both of us, completely paralyzed by an invisible fear.  We were both terrified that it would penetrate us and how we felt all the way through to the bottom of our love, finding ourselves at the end.  What neither of us stopped to recognize was the absurdity of that thought.  There is no bottom; We, are INFINITE…pain didn’t detract from any part of US, it actually made us BIGGER…

From then, until now, we have found ourselves moving around a very unfamiliar space as far as you and I are concerned.  One where we aren't the two closest people on the planet with enough love between us to overcome ANY obstacle put before us.  So why are we behaving like 2 children afraid of the dark?  Why are we pretending not to know what lies just beyond the horizon for US??  Haven't we both been through enough and fought hard enough to arrive at this pass?!  Is this not where we should have ended up, HERE, FACE  TO FACE?!  Where is that blind trust we have ALWAYS had in our love for one another that has never let us down?! At what point are we willing to surrender to what IS?!

The fact is evident: the fear of loss is most crippling of all.  We are standing in a great empty valley, where literal mountains have been moved for our union to come to fruition, and we are both too afraid to proceed any further out of fear of the unknown.  But is it really?!  Our greatest fear is actually the one thing we DO know; no matter what happens, we will experience it TOGETHER.  Losing sight of one another is an impossibility…entering forever with you, will be my GREATEST adventure…

That unidentified voice that first spoke to me at age 18, telling me to give this EVERYTHING, because THIS, is REAL-has been getting louder by the day.  It's drowning out any and all doubt.  The realization that WE are the ones standing in our own way is becoming more and more evident with each passing moment.  Our future is a SHARED dream, that will never come into focus if we continue to pursue it as individuals.  My absolute BEST can always shine through, and this, is my preferred state of BEING.  Yet, loving a person at their worst, is the true testament to the authenticity of ANY heart.  No one thing defines who We all works together in fantastic Unison; creating something altogether different.  To reject any part of it would be to deny and then ultimately try and change who we are.  I don't belong to the world, I belong to YOU.  It's about time we started acting that way.  The Universe has been patiently waiting for us to take our rightful place in it...

The question now remains…My Nigga, What’s On Your Mind?!

Awaiting Your Response...

Love Always, Avri James💓

PS…Jasmine says, “What Up Tho?!”  You guys hadn’t spoken in a while…👀😂



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