Whoa

 

I could hear the sound of the rain before I opened my eyes, and smiled.  It was the perfect start to my day; the combination of rain, and waking up in the one place I was always meant to, OUR bed.  After the endless back and forth, and bullshit I could no longer account for, Landon and I had finally done it.  It felt like all we EVER did was talk and make plans about shit that was never executed.  The truth of the matter is, we didn’t DO much of anything.  This was a completely different experience, and I was still in disbelief; still a little afraid to open my eyes in case I had been dreaming.  I felt him stir next to me; confirmation.  I was safe.  I scanned the bed and nightstand quickly for my book, trying to move as little as possible.  Now that we lived together, these early morning hours were my only guarantee of quietness with my own thoughts.  Sharing my life with someone in this was new, yet EXACTLY where I was meant to be.  THIS, is what it had all been about; what it was all for.  Being able to wake up each day with one another, SHARING our lives.  I peered over at Landon, he seemed to be sleeping soundly, and my book was nowhere to be found.  So, I quietly slipped out of bed, and headed up front to do a little Yoga.  If I was lucky, I could shower after and slip back into bed before he even woke up.  The rain began to fall heavier, and a flash of lightning ripped across the early morning sky as I transitioned into Warrior II.  Coming out of the Cat pose, I heard footsteps at the back of the apartment.  “Why do you always come up front to do Yoga when you know I like to watch?!”  I rolled my eyes, easing into a Baby Cobra, “In your sleep?!  You weren’t even conscious!”  I replied.  “You doing Yoga isn’t something I can EVER sleep through.  Ima need you to start over though, since I don’t know what I missed.  Oh, and make sure Downwards Facing Dog works it’s way into the routine at least 3 times.  What’s that you’re doing now?!” He asked.  “A Reversed Locust” I responded.  “As a matter of fact, stay like that, I think you need a little help getting into the right position…”

Being at home, inside, away from else with Landon felt like being in another world entirely.  I had little desire to leave the space that contained us to venture outside or interact with anyone outside our door.  I knew it was all there, I just wasn’t interested.  Absolutely nothing felt like THIS; there was no comparison.  Here, we were our absolute selves.  There was no unnatural part to it-we were organic and just flowed.  Landon was at ease; able to be his true self.  The one that was thoughtful and loving; who cared about who he was from the inside out; unafraid to cater to those feelings.  He wasn’t the machine the outside world knew with just one mindset; he was a man; whole and complete; intelligent, deep, and powerful.  It was everything that I had always seen IN him and loved.  45 minutes later, we found ourselves laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling with my yoga mat twisted beneath us.  “What are you doing today?” I asked.  As much as I loved it being just he and I, Landon loved being on the move.  I can’t be selfish.  “I actually don’t have much planned, just a few people to see, so it’s going to be an early day for me.  What are you doing?  Will you be here when I get back?” I smiled.  “Since I don’t know when that is, I can’t say for sure.  But I won’t be out all day, I’m going to lunch with Mel and Trina, then stopping by the house on Richmond to pick up a few things.”  “So when I call you, you will be ready to come in the house right?!  Don’t go on Richmond and get caught up Avri. I need you to be ready to come HOME.”  I looked over at him, shaking my head.  “For REAL, Avri.  I waited long enough to have you right where I want you, all to myself; for us to be HERE.  I don’t want anything fucking with that.  Nothing else is coming between us again; I’m not taking ANY chances.”  He took the thoughts right out of my head…

An hour or so later, we went out separate ways.  After meeting Melanie and Katrina for lunch and sangria at our favorite spot, I swung by Richmond to see my family.  I went up to my room to grab a few books for my next article, and was met by a pile of messages neatly stacked on my nightstand.  Spotting the books I was looking for on the shelf, I grabbed the stack of messages and headed over to my desk.  I sat for a moment, ensuring I had collected everything I came for, and my eyes wandered over to the messages.  I counted 11 slips of paper-all of which were from Adonis.  Damn.  I had forgotten he had the number to my house.  Shit, honestly, I had forgotten about Adonis!  I wasn’t calling him back.  For what?!  There wasn’t anything I could say that would make this situation any easier for him.  No.  It was better to leave well enough alone and let it all die.  Just let it go Avri.  I grabbed a messenger bag from the closet, tossed in the books and several other miscellaneous things before heading out the door.  I dropped the messages into the trash can that stood by my door.  I wanted to sit outside for a while and take in the Richmond scenery.  Although the rain had stopped, it was still quite overcast, but the air was mild and held just enough warmth to sit comfortably without a jacket.  It was quiet.  There wasn’t many people about, so it was the perfect setup to read.  I settled into my chair, excited to see who would speak next, either The Girl or The Goddess.  I was halfway through the third poem when I noticed a familiar black car pulling up in front of the house.  It was Daniel Bryant, another part of the Richmond scenery.  “Hey Danny!”  I called down cheerfully as he got out.  He came up and sat on the step next to me.  “What’s new Homie?!  I know I’m a poor substitute for the entire block, but nobody seems to really be around today.  I’m surprised you stopped.”  “ I stopped because I saw you…”

Curiouser and curiouser…I mean, we have known each other the majority of our lives, but since when is Daniel Bryant a fan of Avri James?!  “Alright then,” I began, “Well what’s up then, what can I do for you?!”  I was expecting him to request a Tarot Card reading, or to ask my advice on some random thing that he assumed I had inside knowledge on.  I waited patiently for a response. He mumbled something inaudible; the only word I caught was ‘waterfront’.  With a very puzzled look on my face I responded, “Wait, What?!”  He repositioned his self and then repeated, “So what’s up with you coming to the waterfront with me?!”  My face quickly shifted from puzzled to full on shock.  “Wait a minute, you want ME to go to the waterfront with you?! Why?! When?!” I asked.  “I have always liked you Avri, I can’t believe you never caught me looking at you.  I saw you sitting here by yourself, and I knew it was now or never.  I may never get up the courage again to tell you.”  What the Hell?!  Is this why Landon was telling me not to get caught up around Richmond?!  Did this Mother Fucker call him and tell him what he had planned?!  Why ME Universe?!  “I want you to come with me NOW.”  I looked directly at him, putting on my ‘I mean business’ face.  Besides the fact that I had not even THOUGHT about Daniel as anything more than apart of the block, I had no interest in pursuing any part of this.  I was more than preoccupied; I was IN LOVE.  “I appreciate the sentiment Danny, I really do; but I can’t.  I don’t want to.  You know where I am right now, where my heart HAS been, all this time.  I never knew how you felt, but maybe it’s better that I didn’t, since nothing could ever come of it.”  Up until that point, he was sitting next to me.  In that moment, he was in front of me; closer than we had ever been before.  He was now standing directly over me, leaning in, barely speaking above a whisper.  “I never said anything because I just sat back, watching; quietly thinking, ‘One day she’ll be mine’.  Today is that day.” Lmao.  No it’s Not!🤣.  Something in his voice though, and the intimacy of this conversation let me know he was dead serious.  This wasn’t over.  I love it how you tell a man you aren’t interested and they go HARDER.  Dammit Avri, tomorrow, you’re staying in.  SMH…