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Love Is For Suckas

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It's amazing how quickly I got into the swing of things.  Before I knew it, Winter break was approaching, and I had decided to spend it on Richmond.  That sinking feeling as far as Landon was concerned still lingered, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake it.  As the weeks passed on, I could feel the crevice widening by the minute.  I even tried talking to him about it, but in typical Landon fashion, he pushed me even further away.  I knew for sure something was not right, I just didn't know what- and was almost to the point of not caring.  Maybe being home and in the comfort of a familiar place would be just what we need...I was really counting on the Waterfront to work some of it's magic and fix whatever was going on; I wanted nothing but smooth sailing from here on out...

Psych 101- the gateway to unlocking the confines of the human brain through higher education; it was my largest AND most favorite class.  I looked out over the auditorium, quickly scanning, trying to spot Catrina.  We had met during orientation, and had been inseparable ever since.  We were in 3 classes together, so naturally, if one of us arrived 1st, we would save the other a seat.  We had a Columbiana Productions meeting after class, so I needed a minute to decompress and prepare.  I had been so pre-occupied with whatever was going on with me and Landon, not really thinking of much else.  Catrina spotted me searching, and held an arm up, waving it wildly to get my attention, beckoning me in her direction.  I made my way down to the mid-section, shuffling by a few people that were already seated at the end of the row.

My face must have reflected what was going on in my head, because Catrina's smile faded into a worried look as I approached.  "What's WRONG, " she began, "Still stressin about the meeting with the homecoming committee?!"  I slowly slid down in the seat next to her.   I replied, totally exasperated, "I wish that was ALL that I had to worry about; but you KNOW I hate not being prepared!"  "Do you want to talk about it, " she said, "I mean, I was gonna take a nap and copy your notes later, but  I can happily postpone that till English Lit..."  I DID actually want to talk about it.  I wanted to pour the contents of my heart out on the desk in front of me; starting with the emotional roller coaster I was currently on with Landon, and had been since shortly after my arrival here.  I wanted to tell her how tired I was of the uncertainty, and the how elusive he was being-How I loved him so much that it caused physical pain for me to even think about us not being together...and yet, that's all I had been thinking about over the past few weeks.  Instead, I turned to Catrina and simply said, "Love is for Suckas."  She had a look of pure shock.  "Well, I guess you don't need to talk then, it sound like you have it figured out already."  She put her headphones back in and slumped down further in the seat.  "Try not to move o much, I need your shoulder; its the perfect pillow."  I pulled out my notebook, fully prepared to ignore the lecture...wait, what did she mean I had already figured it out?!

I walked from class, wanting a few more minutes to be alone with my thoughts before the meeting started.  I was thinking about what Catrina said.  I hadn't figured ANYTHING out.  For the first time since being with Landon, I felt alone.  There was an overwhelming sensation of loss;  couldn't FEEL him.  It was late afternoon, and by this time, the campus was clearing out.  I only had about 15 minutes before the meeting, so  I changed direction and headed towards the student union.  I saw Catrina outside on the curb waiting, but she was talking to someone I didn't recognize.  They seemed deeply engaged in whatever they were discussing, but as I approached them, the conversation abruptly ended.  Catrina introduced me to the stranger.  "Avri, this is Adonis, Darien's new suite mate; he's joining CP to help out with homecoming."  I smiled, said hello, and headed into the student union with Catrina and Adonis in tow...

I made my way to my usual seat at the roundtable next to Hollis, the CP President.  Hollis and I chatted briefly while the rest of the group straggled in.  Even though my back was turned, I heard Catrina sit down next to me.  I swung around in my chair prepared to question her about that cryptic conversation she was having just minutes before curbside, but to my surprise, I was face to face with Adonis.  Not paying much attention earlier, I noticed his teeth, and how pleasantness of his smile.  Seconds later, his chair was being rolled away in the opposite direction.  "Um, MOVE, this is MY seat!" Catrina yelled, as she wheeled Adonis to the other side of the room.  "Only I sit with Avri James!"  Adonis sat quietly across from us on the other side of the table, taking in everything that was going on.  Catrina leaned over and whispered, "Now that you have decided to join the rest of us in the real world and own the truth about Love, I figured you needed some consolation..."  She allowed her gaze to fall on Adonis.   The baffled look on my face spoke volumes.  I thought to myself, "what had I ACTUALLY decided, and how, exactly, did Adonis fit into any of this as "consolation', from what?!"  Within seconds, I had answered my own question; "I don't want to do this anymore..."

We wandered out of the meeting after it concluded and congregated in the common area.  Catrina spotted Darien , and scurried off in his direction.  I found myself sitting in a booth alone with Adonis.  The hardest thing to do when you have something on your mind is have a trivial conversation, but I took a deep breath, ready to give it the old college try.  Before I had a chance to say anything, he jumped right in..."So what did you think of Song of Solomon in African American Lit?!"  Hoping the shock of him knowing I was taking that course didn't show on my face, I thought to myself, "OK; so you're out for BLOOD; the path to Avri Jame's heart is most certainly paved with books--AND,  the little DETAILS...

Over the next month, my friendship with Adonis grew.  Even though I kept him at arm's length, his patience was commendable.  Our connection was getting stronger.  Soon, when I would think of Landon, a call or text from Adonis would come through...was the Universe trying to tell me something?!


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