Skip to main content

There They Are -Those Feelings Again...

Artist Featured: GDBee

Freshman Orientation- a week long thank you for spending a small fortune on higher education!  Landon and I barely saw each other.  If it wasn't for all the festivities to distract me, I may have been bothered.  I was trying my absolute hardest to be social; I even attended "1st Night Columbia" with my new roommate, Sylvie.  She was a quiet, sweet girl from South Jenerie, and sooo excited to finally be away from home.  I was so wrapped up in my unpacking process, I had decided to skip the whole thing.  Sylvie wouldn't hear of it.  "MISS 1ST NIGHT COLUMBIA?!"  She shrieked.  Just hearing the intensity in her voice sealed my fate; I didn't have the heart to say no.  I made a quick call to Landon, checking his progress.  He had stopped unpacking long ago, and was now sitting in his dorm room surrounded by his luggage, watching Scarface alone.  He had the luxury of a no-show roommate-for now.  I hurriedly told him about 1st NC, and that I would come over 1st thing in the morning to help him finish his room.  Through several mumbled protests, he finally agreed, and I set off to mingle with the rest of my freshman class.  I really hadn't entertained THIS aspect of going away to college.  My mind was full with my determination to emerge as a full-fledged writer.  Once Landon decided to attend school near me, I totally forgot there would be other people there too!  1st NC was a HUGE party-fireworks and all.  Tomorrow would be my 1st official day as a college student; it was all I could think about on the ride home.

Elation.  That's the best way to describe it.  It was all so new and fantastic.  I was absolutely in my element.  I had to admit, I was enjoying the introduction to higher academia WAY more than the social gatherings orchestrated by the University over the past week.  Something was happening to me; I felt something AWAKENING.  Not that I had ever felt like I didn't know me; as a matter of fact, I had never been more sure of myself...this, was different.  Between engineering the perfect room setup, choosing (and dropping!) the right classes, and one freshman mixer after the next, I looked up and realized that Landon and I hadn't seen each other since the day after we arrived.  Our conversations had been brief, but I wanted to make sure I was giving him the space he needed to fully embrace this new academic environment.  We were both pretty sheltered as far as our lives back on Richmond.  As a matter of fact, for the past few moths, we had really only existed for one another, in our own little world.  Here we were individual people in two different places.  Almost as if on separate planets...

The Friday before classes started, I found myself sitting at my desk, examining my planner that was spread out in front of me.  "Oh shit, I have a completely free day!  After a week, I am FINALLY getting a moment to myself!"  It was just beginning to rain, setting the perfect scene for me to write something epic!  I grabbed a brand new blank journal, a pink pen, and my laptop before settling on my bed-I was ready!  Suddenly, I had this feeling like I should be someplace else; with SOMEBODY else..."LANDON!"  I could not believe it wasn't my initial thought to be with him!  I scrambled around the room in search of my phone.  I walked past the full length mirror on the wall, realizing I looked absolutely gross.  I needed to do something about this NOW; BEFORE the phone call.  Even though he couldn't see me, I felt he could somehow sense the hideousness through the receiver!  After I showered and got my life, I called Landon at long last.  I was kind of excited to hear about his week, the classes he had chosen, and how he was feeling about being away from home.  I figured we could finally spend a full day together, and start getting acclimated to our new college life.  I had never been on the Xavier campus prior to last week , and was looking forward to getting the whole experience.

Sitting in the lobby of Landon's dorm, I started to feel something strange and unfamiliar at the thought of him.  I figured the feeling would pass once I saw Landon, thinking it was because of how little we saw each other since we got to Columbus.  Landon stepped off the elevator, I smiled, happy as ever to see him, but the feeling still lingered.  It stuck with me the entire day; while walking through the quads, the tour of the architectural building, and finally, during the entire walk back to his dorm.  I couldn't shake it.  We spent the night together, awake for most of it, just talking.  Something was bothering me, I just didn't know what.  I laid awake for a long time, just watching Landon sleep.  I eased down slowly into his arms.  Whatever was wrong, I wasn't going to let it ruin this moment.  Whatever was coming, there was always tomorrow to worry about it.  I wanted us to stay just like this, for as long as we possibly could...  


Popular posts from this blog

Flash Forward: The Twin Flame Connection

              One of the things I get the most comments on when it comes to Avri James and Landon is about the Twin Flame Connection, what are my thoughts on it, and most importantly, do I believe in it.  Most of you guys out there want to know whether or not I consider what Avri and Landon have a TFC, and WHEN would it come into play in their story...Ask and ye shall receive!  By request, an anecdote from Avri and Landon that addresses just that; I hope it provides the strength needed to hold out for it ALL... There was ONE time, when I could no longer deny the TFC; and I knew for sure it was real...I lived out of state for a while and had been seeing someone else.  Landon and I hadn't seen each other for a time, and had been living separate lives.  I had been coming and going, but ours paths just never seemed to cross.  One day, my family attended this baby shower.  I chose not to, as I didn't know the intended at all.  After it was over, my aunt stopped by, giving me a rundo

Great Expectations

              I couldn't believe it; it was FINALLY here!!  This trip had been at the forefront of all my thoughts for the past few weeks-now that it was actually time to leave it all felt surreal.  It honestly felt a little strange to be this excited about going on a trip I had originally planned and discussed so many times before with Landon.  In all actuality, I never thought I would get the chance to go.  I just figured the Universe would open up and swallow me, and I would never make it!  The strangest part of all though, was that it didn't even bother me, which caused me to feel slightly uneasy, just for a few moments; old habits die hard.  For once, I felt like I was doing something for ME.  My greatest desire for the whole thing was to find out what parts of Avri still remained; to remember who the fuck I was.  I had felt so lost and disconnected lately- an Avri identity crisis, if you will... See, that's the part I find the hardest to wrap my mind around; how impor


  "...So many things I'm going through, So much that I wanna do~It's starting to become so clear to me, tomorrow ain't really guaranteed~So many days I've thought of you, it's about time you knew the truth~Gotta act quickly you and I, to fall in Love so many reasons why..." I could feel the sun slipping through the downturned slats of my wooden blinds.  It crept slowly across the floor; climbing my bedspread, and finally kissing my fingers before I opened my eyes.  I smiled, thanked the Universe for Life, and rolled over, feeling around for my book.  I hadn't fully decided if I was quite ready to get up yet.  Still in mid-thought, the sound of chimes began to softly ascend; it was my phone reminding me of the day I had ahead of me.  Whelp, decision made.  I'm up.  I didn't mind too much though; today had the potential to be dope.  I love the Summer.  It's the way the air smells; IDK, it does something to me...Melanie and I had a whole day l