Samaritan

"Like a Moth to the Flame, Burned by the Fire...My Love is Blind, Can't you See My Desire?  That's the Way Love Goes...

                                               ~Janet Jackson

It was the beginning of  Winter, and the bitterness of the cold came out Swinging...If it wasn't work, or necessary to my survival, it could wait!  The one place that Winter never seemed to come, was Landon's bed.  No matter what the temperature was outside, as far as I knew, it was the coziest-and safest place on Earth.  When I opened my eyes, I was still nestled under Landon's arm; laying on his chest.  From the rhythm of his breath, I could tell he was already awake...keeping as still as possible not to disturb me.  Gently wiggling out of one of my sock, I put my cool, bare toes on his leg to indicate that I was ready to move.  "Hey Lightskin, Good Morning."  He said softly; gathering me up in his arms and kissing me on the forehead.  I let out the most satisfied sigh; it was almost a Purr...There was absolutely nothing I would rather be doing at the moment.  "Good Morning Love."  I finally said.  "It's gonna be a little warmer today," Landon began, "I'm gonna hit streets for a while, any plans for the day?!"  He asked.  "Past right now?!  Nah, I haven't really thought that far.  I'm working from here.  Eli hit me up; he's having a new meltdown that I didn't have the time to address at work on Saturday.  He's been stalking me ever since; soooo I guess I'll be dealing with that at some point😅!"  I said through a forced smile.  "Aight, cool.  I don't have plans to be out all day, so just hit me when you're done with Eli, and we'll figure out tonight."  He said.  I let out another sigh as he pulled away to get dressed...If only we could stay just like this...

45 minute later, Landon was out the door, and I was spread Full Eagle on my yoga mat.  The kettle was on, and my only thought was, 'what kind of tea am I going to start my day with?'  As I eased into warrior pose, visions of candy canes 'danced' through my mind..."Peppermint it is."  I said aloud with a smile.  After the last position, I carefully rolled my mat up, placing it inside Landon's walk in closet.  I put 4 cubes of brown sugar and a teaspoon of honey alongside my tea bag in my glass mug.  I slowly poured the boiling water into the vessel.  Leaving it to steep, I went into the bathroom to start the shower.  "Shit!"  I yelled.  I had forgotten to ask Landon for a towel before he left.  I hated to do this, but I was going to have to use his😑...When I turned to grab his towel from the rack, 

                                    there it was; my towel; hanging next to his.  I stared in wonder for a split second; then broke into a full smile..."Awww, he REALLY LIKES ME!"  I said.  It was hands-down one of the sweetest things he had ever done-without knowing he had done anything at all.  I can't even mention it because he would probably call me soft!😂  Note to self, you need to break out that new tongue move you just learned from 50 Shades TONIGHT!!  My tea was the perfect temperature for drinking post-shower.  I sat on the bed in my towel; savoring every sip.  A doughnut cut into little pieces would have really set this tea off...As I eased back onto the pillows, I let calm rush over me.  The sun shined deceptively bright through Landon's triple panned bedroom window...the day was brimming with possibilities.  10:00 am flashed across my phone screen, and DND officially ended.  By 10:01, Eli was calling...

I didn't answer right away; I still wasn't decent-the only man I ever chatted with in a towel was Landon-and I wanted to keep it like that!  I took my time; fully moisturizing and getting comfortable.  I had just taken my bonnet off when Eli's next call came in; this one was on FT..."Avri?!"  He screamed into the camera.  "First of all, YOU NOT MY NIGGA!  Don't be calling me multiple times 1st thing in the morning, I don't have to answer!  AND why are you screaming?!"  I said before he could continue.  "Eh, tell my boy Landon I said my bad man.  Is he there?!  Lemme say what's up!"  Eli exclaimed.  "Landon's not here, how bout you apologize to ME for disturbing my Peace!"  I said, rolling my eyes.  "Avri, stop playing, this is serious-I need to talk to YOU!  You know I don't like nobody, and I don't tell nobody my business!"  "Yes, I know; LUCKY ME!"  I said with a yawn.  "WTF is wrong with you Now?!  I asked, only half interested...

Eli began his tale..."Aight, so you know that shit has been crazy for me over the past few months.  Everything between Kelly and I has been cool; as a matter of fact, this may have been our smoothest year yet.  With all the shit I had going on, it created a little distance between us.  I didn't want to pull her into any of my BS; it wasn't her burden to bear.  She didn't get angry, she didn't lash out, she simply kept it pushing; giving me all the space and time I needed.  Even though our communication was few and far between, every time we spoke or saw each other, nothing had changed.  Eli paused.  "OK, it sounds like Kelly is on her shit, why the meltdown then?!"  I interjected quickly.  "BECAUSE Avri, I think that I'm finally leveling out...My life is back on track, and I'm heading in the direction I want to be moving in.  I want my baby back Avri, ALL the WAY BACK!  Like it was before!"  Eli said, exasperated.  "But Eli, you JUST said, Kelly is Cool; what am I missing?!"  I asked.  "That's just IT Avri; She's too cool...what if she filled that space I created with someone else?  What if she's over it?!  What if she's cool because she's good on me?!  We haven't had sex since..." his voice trailed off..."Well how long has it been?!"  I asked incredulously.   "Damn, I can't even remember!"  He said, as his head hit the table.  "Yikes Homie!"  It slipped out before I could catch it..."Avri, what if she's Gone?"

Oh my...Eli is the ONE man in my life that reminds me that we are one in the same.  At the end of the day, male or female, when things change when it comes to Your Person, you know..."Ok friend, let's start at the beginning; a simple question, did you TELL her, at any point, that this was about YOU, and what you had going on?!"  I asked. "Well, I did mention that I had alot on my mind a couple months back when we didn't speak for a few weeks."  He said sheepishly; like a kid that KNEW it wasn't nearly enough.  "Yes, but did you explicitly say 'I'm changing up how shit works between us because I got alot going on right now-none of which has anything to do with you.  It's effecting me and my energy at the moment, and I don't want you catching any strays.'  OR, did you make it a general statement, which could pertain to EVERYONE, and does NOT address her and YOUR situation directly?!" 

 His silence was confirmation of the former..."Nigga?!"  I exclaimed.  "See, this is why I needed YOU; I knew you would see wtf was up right away!"  Eli said with a relieved smile.  "Idk why you look so chill, you KNOW I'm bout to Go In!  Oh yea, I see, you; real crazy right now!"  I said.  "I don't even care Avri, just tell me what to do to fix it!"  Eli said with a whine, banging his forehead back down on the table.  I digressed, and looked at my friend.  If I knew anything, it was that Kelly was the Sunshine to Eli's rain.  She had the uncanny ability of having him see perspective when no one else could.  No matter how dark of a place he may be in, Kelly's energy was ALWAYS able to bring him back.  I also knew this was the reason why he pushed her away while he was going through it.  He didn't want to be pulled out; he wanted to sit with his pain and deal with it his own way; in his own time.  Both a noble and loving sentiment, it can cut like razor blades if you're on the other end...and you just don't know...

"Eli, Love, Real Love, is infinite, and unconditional; it does NOT end. I'm gonna be completely honest, whether or not she filled that space with someone else is not your main concern at the moment; that doesn't even matter.   What are you, 12?!  She is your Person; You are a grown ass man...Start acting like it!  Kelly is not a psychic; contrary to popular belief, she cannot read your mind.  She probably thinks that you don't fuck with her like that no more!  You cannot expect her to know when you've been pushing a different narrative the entire time!  TELL HER; exactly what you told me.  She needs to know."  I said.  "Yea, but what if I tell her, and she plays me out.  She might be like, 'Oh, that's nice and all, but I got new D now, I'm good!"  Eli said, looking extra hurt...

I rolled my eyes and began, "Oh boy BYE!  I've been watching this play out since we were teenagers-with NO BABIES-and Kelly STILL here!!!  I think it's pretty safe to say your spot is secure.  If you ask me, I think, at this point, she is simply trying to match your energy; cautiously navigating this situation because she could feel that something was going on.  I mean, you have never really defined what the two of you are.  She's probably terrified from one moment to the next that your situation is about to change.  How about you provide a safe space for her thoughts and feelings so she can share them with you.  That way, you don't have to guess.  You need to get back to that place where ya'll come to each other first.  Don't be no Sucker-Punk, speak your truth.  Oh, and next time, let her IN.  If it's one thing we need as women, it's to KNOW.  If you need space, so be it; say THAT.  She will respect your boundaries; she Loves You."  "Damn Avri, you right; for REAL.  So I guess setting that letter she left me on fire on camera, and then sending it to her was too much then, huh?!"  He said embarrassed.  "Just a tad, homie...WAIT, you did What, my nigga?!"

After the heaviness of the early part of the conversation, we shifted to lighter banter; in which case, Eli shifted his focus...to pointing out how the entire 50 Shades series was actually a masterclass for women...highlighting it's most educational and useful aspects.  Little did he know, I had LONG since milked that whole shit for EVERYTHING it was worth!😆  I did, however, just for shits and giggles,  point out Christian's evolution; noting that once he let he IN, his entire world opened up😇.  It was a work from home day, and I couldn't let the time slip away...I ended the call with Eli; promising to be available for a follow-up later on that evening...

After what seemed like forever, I closed my laptop; I needed some air...Just a quick spin around the block; nothing too serious...I was on a mission to make stuffed shells tonight-and it was happening!  As I approached the door, I heard footsteps; Landon was home..."Lightskin!"  He said brightly as I appeared.  "How was your day?!"  He said, quickly turning away.  Catching my reflection in the microwave door, I realized I still had on a full face of makeup from products I was trying for the Blog.  Silent understanding passed between us...From the bathroom, I recounted the entire Eli story as I washed my face.  By the time I emerged, I was fresh-faced, moist, and in satin PJs.  Landon was sprawled out across the bed, searching for something to watch.  Pulling me down onto him, he buried his face in my neck; kissing it.  "Do your thing, get your money; but this right here, is what I like to see.  I've Loved You since Loving You was a thing...THIS, is all I need."  From Landon's lips, straight to Jasmine's ears...Whelp, them stuffed shells just might have to wait....            

Thank You So Much for Your Support!  Please Check out my Website for Other Fun Reads, Tons of Other Content; Including Animated Shorts of Avri & Landon, and Website Products...Avri Has a Candle In The Liminal Shop Called Glow...AMAZE-BALLS!!!  Click the Links Below...

 

https://queenkhira.com/site-products/ols/products?blog=y

    

https://queenkhira.com/