Everyday Superstar: Avri James

Do you know the feeling you get right before you fall asleep after an absolutely exhausting day, just as your head connects with your pillow and your body is absorbed into the bed?  I call that the Zone.  It is where I long to be on days like these. I need to be inspired.  It's about time my life yielded purpose.  Since I have decided that Love is at its best through the process of discovery, I have abandoned any attempts to hurry fate along.  Now I'm bored.  I have nothing to fill my days with now accept work.  I am so lame!  Why is the possibility of love so much more intoxicating than the reality?  Take a sonnet for example.  Aren't the greatest ones about love in the unrequited state? I want the passion of an unrequited romance with a willing participant.  I want warmth.  I want peace. I want to feel safe.  I want to feel like I never left the Zone.   I want my entire life and everything in it to exist in that place.  I get enough real life everyday.  

So sweet to the ear, yet so bitter to the restless soul. I'm so torn. Do you ever get the feeling that you're not where you're suppose to be?  That's me.  I feel stuck.  I don't know where I'm suppose to be.  I'm soooo tired of waiting for life to happen to me.  I've done it all right so far, or at least I think I have. Put God first. Honor your mother and father. Love others as yourself.  Post-secondary education.  Career.  Wonderful friends.  An abundance of income.  Why Aren't I HAPPY? Why aren't I in LOVE? It's funny how things come into perspective as an adult.  The entire time I was growing up, all that concerned me was having my career and being successful by the time I reached maturity.  I didn't see the need in complicating my life with extra people, ie a husband and kids.  I always figured if one preceded the other, than OK, I would reproduce.  But as far as a biological longing, um, NO! I long for those days.