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Showing posts from December, 2020


  ' By the time I got to the end of Grove St, I had all but convinced myself I was ready to go in and talk to him.  I looked down at my watch.  I had been gone over an hour already.  It I was going to slip back in undetected, now was my chance.  My phone hadn't rang, which meant he immediately went back to sleep after our brief call.  He might not even remember I wanted to have a conversation.  Stop marking time Avri.  Go handle your business.  I eventually wandered back to my dorm; as I placed my key in the door, I heard Landon's voice on the other side; he was on the phone.  So much for avoiding detection!  I felt my throat begin to close-he's going to ask me what's up as soon as I walk in.  I took a deep breath, and pushed the door open slowly.  I peered inside, and found Landon fully engrossed in a conversation with Jaxson about whatever they were both watching.  His laughter immediately put me at ease, as I slipped out of my jacket, and hung it on the back of m


  "Do you remember the time when you gave your Ex money for her birthday while you were still together and I was so upset?!  My energy immediately changed, and you knew something was wrong.  That's what happened to you thee other day when I mentioned Adonis's part in our story.  You didn't speak to me for days.  If you need to say something, then you should.  We aren't the type of individuals   to hold things back.  Everything we do effects both of us.  You holding on to shit for dear life, pointing out and obsessing over every aspect of the situation, only able to see my faults.  Not wanting to own any responsibility is a very childish, victim mentality.  For months, I have taken your lead, letting you control the situation, and just going with the flow.  All that has resulted from that IS my fault, I let it all happen.  Everything that has happened is in direct response to your behavior.  We are each operating exactly as you designed it; you should be thrilled. 


  There are times in life when the clouds part, and the sun shines directly on you.  It's just something about the way that beam of light glistens, and you know; it was meant just for you.  Nothing in the world could ruin that moment.  That's the way I would describe how it feels when Landon and I are together.  We truly exist outside of space and time.  I was sitting at my desk, staring down at the same blank page that had been staring back at me for the past two hours.   Landon was on my bed, completely engrossed in whatever he was watching.  I couldn't focus, I was thinking about the conversation we had that morning.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we had it...Now, all I wanted to do was TALK to him...tell him everything he missed; all the things I wanted to say when I couldn't.  Funny thing, ever since we got back from looking at rings, he seemed to be completely at peace.  I'm definitely not trying to rock any boats.  I just wish the old Avri confidence h