Everyday Superstar: Avri James

Sometimes the simplest of truths can be the hardest to express...The summer was coming to a close, and I would soon be leaving for school.  I was still excited about going to college in the fall, but the last few months revealed to me that I had other things to consider that were just as important to me.  Never did I imagine when I came here that I could shift my focus and actually fall in love.  Funny thing is, I still haven't told him... It's soo strange; that's EXACTLY what it is, so why haven't I said it?!  Landon tried once to tell me, and I basically refused to accept it.  I know I said we didn't need words, but there are just some things that CANNOT remain unsaid.  I would sit next to him sometimes, wondering if he;s thinking the same thing; waiting for me to tell him.  There HAS to be a song out there that speaks to my heart right now...I have just the one; if I keep this on repeat, I know it will make everything make sense... ...

As it stands, whenever make plans, outside factors have a way of changing them.  Just days prior to our date, a family emergency thrust me into a very surreal headspace.  Nothing really seemed tangible, and I felt like I was totally absent.  Everyone around me was connected in some way, and it was everywhere I turned.  The only time I found myself having a conversation that didn't center around it was when I spoke to Tre. With all the craziness swirling around, our date was pushed to the background.  I was a little leary to cancel it altogether, thinking I may need to plan a short break from all the bullshit; even if just for a few hours.  There wasn't any peace on Richmond Whatsoever, and I was absolutely CRAVING it.  I stole the only opportunity I had to be alone and went for a walk.  It was just after dark, and a cool, damp air clung to my skin.  I could feel that; I WAS awake!  There was so much in my head...I took some ...

Fuck it Avri; Just Jump... What harm could possibly come from going?!  A bitch just hates to be in a compromising position...I had so much swimming around in my head, I knew I needed a little headway before I could make ANY decisions.  That meant having another tooth-pulling conversation with Landon.  I knew what I felt, but I also knew that I was embarking on a whole new life course; a boyfriend was nowhere in that equation.  I liked that we didn't need labels to feel connected with one another, and would define what we had at a point in time when we were both ready.  In the back of my mind, the comment about Tre was still rattling around, and so I knew it would not be okay to pursue this any further and not say anything.  Big Girl Boots Avri; "It's About to Go Down!"... Something that always happens to me whenever Landon and I are face to face is that I get kinda nervous when something is on my mind, and I'm at a loss for words....

"Would it be at all possible to spend next Sunday afternoon together?!" Message might as well have been sent in neon flashing letters...My exhaustion dissipated, and I found myself wide awake, sitting straight up in the bed, staring at my phone.  I don't know if it was shock or sleep deprivation, but I was stuck; staring off into space for at least 5 minutes or so.  My mind was racing; retracing every moment we spent together, trying to figure out what I had done, if anything, to provoke or encourage this in ANY way...nothing.  Maybe I was overreacting...so why was he asking  a week in advance about hanging out?!  Since when were we so formal?!  Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't have thought twice, I would have immediately agreed.  It was just something about this particular invitation that said it was completely different than all of the ones before... I finally calmed my nerves to the point where I could close my eyes; my respo...

So like what usually happens when an extended amount of space takes place, even between the closest of two people, outside influences can creep in.  You know the ones that smell good, dress well, and say the right things.  This one in particular, had, for the most part, always been around, we just were never interested in one another outside of our regular social circle.  We were even going to colleges in the Fall that were virtually within walking distance.  We shared a connection in just about every way BUT romantic... During the time when Landon and I were behaving like strangers, he reached out to me for help with some print media for one of his events.  I was more than happy for the distraction, AND he was interning for the Summer in the city; just off Madison Ave; a welcome change of scenery!  It was really nice to be in my element again, discussing things I was passionate about, and helping someone convey EXACTLY what they wanted to say ...

It's so easy to take things for granted, that is until someone shines a light on just how lucky you are...at this point, any free time I had was spent with Landon.  Even though we may have only been sitting on Richmond for the most part, we were a million miles from anyone else; it was absolutely amazing.  There was no definition of space, nor time; we just, WERE.  We spent so much time talking and learning just about everything there was to know about one another, it left little time for much else.  The closer we got, it seemed like less words were being spoken, but were taking in much more from what wasn't being said... If someone was to embark on a journey of the mind on foot, it would take an eternity to visit all its hidden places.  We managed to travel that entire distance in one summer.  No, this doesn't just happen.  There's not one chance encounter filled with that much coincidence.  This was MAGIC.  Even when he and I were n...