It's so easy to take things for granted, that is until someone shines a light on just how lucky you are...at this point, any free time I had was spent with Landon. Even though we may have only been sitting on Richmond for the most part, we were a million miles from anyone else; it was absolutely amazing. There was no definition of space, nor time; we just, WERE. We spent so much time talking and learning just about everything there was to know about one another, it left little time for much else. The closer we got, it seemed like less words were being spoken, but were taking in much more from what wasn't being said...
If someone was to embark on a journey of the mind on foot, it would take an eternity to visit all its hidden places. We managed to travel that entire distance in one summer. No, this doesn't just happen. There's not one chance encounter filled with that much coincidence. This was MAGIC. Even when he and I were not together, we WERE. I couldn't actually hear his thoughts, but I could FEEL them like my own. If I ever missed him, I needed only to think of him; and there he was. The phone would ring seconds after one of these thoughts, and it would be Landon on the other end. Absolutely EVERYTHING felt particularly special; even nothing at all; we just wanted to be together. It was a little scary not being able to contain myself; we were like magnets. Feeling that intensely was just something I wasn't used to, and the runner in me was ready to take off...
Knowing this relationship was unlike any other, I knew the way I was used to handling my emotions just wasn't going to work. If something wasn't right, it needed to be discussed; and immediately. Small things had the potential to grow into avalanches when left unaddressed. So often we talk of how much easier life would be if we just treated others the way we would like to be; but what happens when you actually encounter YOURSELF?!
That being said, I finally worked up the nerve to talk about what happened between us. After careful thought and backtracking, I knew EXACTLY what caused it, and was ready to discuss it. A few weeks ago, I completely dropped the ball on a pretty serious situation, not being fully present when he came to talk to me about it. He immediately became upset; something I was completely unfamiliar with, and basically walked away from me. Everything changed from that moment on. I knew the only way to fix it was to own my shit. I needed to tell him that I knew exactly what was wrong, apologize, and NEVER do it again!
Sometimes being a big girl is easier said than done...
In our usual fashion, I thought of him, and the phone rang. I didn't hesitate, I jumped right in. I told him I could pinpoint the exact moment when all of this started...I literally FELT the tension dissipate...He only replied, "I told you I was simple!"...I was spot on! Weeks of overthinking and conspiracy theories about what the fuck was going on ended in seconds...I felt like fighting myself! If only I had gotten out of my own feelings long enough to put the proper perspective on everything, I could have saved us both a lot of grief. Damn…
Knowing this relationship was unlike any other, I knew the way I was used to handling my emotions just wasn't going to work. If something wasn't right, it needed to be discussed; and immediately. Small things had the potential to grow into avalanches when left unaddressed. So often we talk of how much easier life would be if we just treated others the way we would like to be; but what happens when you actually encounter YOURSELF?!
That being said, I finally worked up the nerve to talk about what happened between us. After careful thought and backtracking, I knew EXACTLY what caused it, and was ready to discuss it. A few weeks ago, I completely dropped the ball on a pretty serious situation, not being fully present when he came to talk to me about it. He immediately became upset; something I was completely unfamiliar with, and basically walked away from me. Everything changed from that moment on. I knew the only way to fix it was to own my shit. I needed to tell him that I knew exactly what was wrong, apologize, and NEVER do it again!
Sometimes being a big girl is easier said than done...
In our usual fashion, I thought of him, and the phone rang. I didn't hesitate, I jumped right in. I told him I could pinpoint the exact moment when all of this started...I literally FELT the tension dissipate...He only replied, "I told you I was simple!"...I was spot on! Weeks of overthinking and conspiracy theories about what the fuck was going on ended in seconds...I felt like fighting myself! If only I had gotten out of my own feelings long enough to put the proper perspective on everything, I could have saved us both a lot of grief. Damn…
When it comes to feelings, no matter what we may think, are VERY personal. We choose what to take issue with, and must respect that choice in others. Even though love covers a multitude of flaws, the one thing it exposes is just how closely we pay attention to our significant other. If only we would just LISTEN to more of what we actually HEAR, we could escape unwanted heartache. Hmmm, a SIMPLE approach to Love; I like it...
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