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Showing posts from 2021


  Knowing your own mind can keep you in some hot shit when it comes to other people...I closed the box and placed it on my nightstand and eased back onto the pillows propped up on my bed.   The silence after he asked the question was almost deafening.  One thing I've learned through my interactions with others is to not be pressured into an immediate response; potentially saying something you don't mean.  No matter how excruciating your delay my be for the other person, it will be nothing compared to what you will endure if you are pushed into an unwanted situation.   I wanted to choose the exact right words to convey precisely what I felt to Adonis; causing as little damage as possible, but very clear and direct as far as who and what we are.  After spending the end of the night with a complete stranger who had been misled by love too many times to count, I wasn't about to have any had in the creation of what ever new monster emerges from all of this... "Adonis, liste


  Wow, what a difference the progression of time makes on any given situation...Over the past few months, life has taken some unforeseen paths that actually turned out far better than I could have ever hoped for.  I have watched people I have known for years grow and change; becoming more susceptible to their feelings, and learning to live from a truly honest place.  They are now happier they they have ever been, and able to do anything they put their minds to.  I was in LOVE with this flow of energy; my soul in complete alignment with it.  THIS place, was meant for ME... One thing that definitely increased my whole "Moth to a Flame" persona exponentially was when the world became aware of my love for tarot cards, and my uncanny ability to provide relevant and accurate readings upon 1st sight.  Reading individuals, and having the capability to know exactly what they were feeling has always been unspoken, yet known...hence, why any and all randoms from near and far will provid


  As the weekend progressed, Eli's demeanor relaxed, however, maintained it's intensity.  One thing he never did was lose sight of a goal once fixated.  Eli was determined to get back to Kelly, no matter what it was going to take...I wondered if he fully understood what that meant.  I had NO expectations, I learned a long time ago when giving advice, you can only speak from what it is YOU would do; this may or may not be beneficial to the recipient.  How SHE is going to receive it, and respond, is totally up in the air.  Since his arrival, I had not spoken to Kelly-playing both sides of the coin can get messy; I needed to keep my attention on Eli for the moment.  I needed to find a way to take his mind off the situation for a little while-perhaps with a freestyle battle of sorts; Richmond Style.  I even enlisted some of my favorite characters off the block to make it all the way legit-securing some real competition for Eli...enter Delleon: The Chef... The battle was epic; I saw

The Book of Eli

  The Universe has this beautiful way of shifting your focus when you have something on your mind.  It pulls your attention elsewhere, and wraps you up in whatever is going on.  That's exactly what happened to me when Eli called...He and Kelly had parted ways, and he was as distraught as I had ever known a man to be over a breakup.  After much coercing, I finally convinced Eli to come to Jensen City for some R&R, and a much-needed friend.  The magnitude of this situation required that it be dealt with in person; it was simply too fragile to try and decipher by phone.  He reluctantly agreed, and made his plans to spend the weekend on Richmond with high hopes of having an Iyanla V moment.  I couldn't guarantee any relationship repair, but I would be present for the self-rebuild he was about to enter into, giving him a positive point to start from.  It had been a minute since I had encountered a genuinely broken heart; it was time for reparations... For as long as I have known

State Property

  Although everyone can find comfort in talking to me, I do not share in that same luxury.  Throughout my life, I have found the goings on inside my head are a little too complex for the average person.  Don't mistake it, I find NO fault in being average; I often imagine what this would be like-it seems like a very fulfilling, and simple way to just wasn't gifted to me.  And so, when I need to talk and truly be understood, I have to seek out a member of my very small tribe; hoping they are in the right frame of mind to receive me.  The past few weeks of my life had been vibrant, rapidly changing, and absolutely awe-inspiring.  I had sooo much wonderful built up inside,  it had started oozing out...I and FEELING myself, in every sense of the words, and I needed to tell SOMEONE who would understand what was happening.  I needed to SHARE it; but with who?!  I spoke my will and intentions into the Universe, and decided to take a walk; perhaps I will end up just where I ne

The Empath

  "I like talking to you...It's like talking to me, but with a girl face."  Sheldon-The Big Bang Theory One thing I have never been in need of on Richmond was COMPANY.  It is the one place I can always go, and there someone would be.  Even if not at first, just wait; another soul will surely appear.  Interestingly enough, absolutely ANYONE will talk to me.  I don't need to ask any questions, I don't need to reply...just know by the end of the conversation, I WILL have the complete picture...It's this capability, to not only listen, but being able to absorb  what the individual was going through, that makes my writing so personal.  I'm particularly careful not to appear as the impartial observer, by actually getting inside  of the feeling; I need to EXPLORE it.  How else am I able to speak on or interpret something I don't fully comprehend?!  There is, however, a caveat that comes with such a gift-EVERY person within a 2 mile radius who needs to talk pi

Red Hook Summer

  The morning sun was just peeking over the rooftops on the opposite side of Richmond.  Even before opening my eyes, I could feel it's warmth filtering through the blinds on my eyelids.  I wanted to see hoe long I could lay there that way in a sort of lucid dream.  Once the sound of the birds singing came into play, it was perfectly clear that I was fully awake.  I thanked the Source for providing me with yet another beautiful day in which to live life.  Sliding upright in bed, I grabbed a journal.  The peaceful rising had been inspirational, I wanted to get some of these feelings down on paper before they faded.  Words like, "glorious", "serene", and "grandiose" kept coming to mind.  "Wow AJ", I thought to myself, "You really are vibing higher!"  It made me smile at the pure elation of just BEING.  I effortlessly moved through my morning routine; transitioning from saging into Yoga; with it finally culminating into meditation.  I w

Melanie and Drew

     Sitting on Mel's balcony, we watched the moon rise over the city.  By 9pm, the moon would be full and high on the opposite side of the sky.  We had been sitting in silent reverence at the moon's emergence.  After saging, bubble tea, and some much-needed general foolishness, Mel was finally in better spirits.   My attention was turned from above to Mel seated peacefully beside me, but she was looking straight at me, as if in anticipation of saying SOMETHING.  "What?" I asked incredulously.  "Oh nothing; I was just wondering how long I was going to have to wait before you open that text from Adonis you got like 20 minutes ago!"  I should have known the question was coming; I had managed to keep her occupied thus far by focusing on her and Drew.  I let out a deep sigh.  "Fuck it, I guess now is as good a time as any..."  I told her about today's earlier encounter with him, and she beamed with pride; just as if she were the one who had spoken


  Under normal circumstances, this would have been one of the most uncomfortable conversations ever, but, on the contrary, I was actually quite at ease.  Adonis looked as if he was about to jump out of his skin.  He kept starting to speak, and then stopping.  I could tell he was struggling, but the more I said, the more he suffered.  I could not do anything to make this better for him, he had to face his truth alone.  He sat for a while, quiet, then finally said, "SO, the you that lies beneath, is in Love with the HIM that lies beneath; this will NEVER change..." "EXACTLY," I began, "but the way I see it, he doesn't deserve it.  What has he done but hurt you?"  A sense of relief washed over me, he did seem to get it.  "That connection, is ALL that I care about.  This Avri and Landon stuff is all secondary; I have already EXPERIENCED him.  If he doesn't get it, then it's his problem and HIS loss.  I have NO interest whatsoever in his person


  When you look at life for what it REALLY is, that's when shit hits the fan...the moment you realize it's the ultimate reality show,  and everybody is writing their own parts.  The person you wake up as each day is the role you are choosing to play, and the way you decide to present yourself to the world.  The sets, the costumes, the cast; all designed by the individual.  Granted, participation in this show is why were are here, after all, however, it's when we lose sight of the fact that it's all an illusion, and begin to believe the character is real that we give up creative control, and the show you created becomes your truth.  Before you know it, your have become a supporting  castmate in someone else's show.  For some, they embrace the illusion; choosing this persona as their authentic self.  For others, however, the storyline being written is so outlandish and far-fetched, the character created is immediately dropped, and suddenly, you remember who you ARE...

Giant: The Adonis Perspective

  Co Written By: A. Reid Avri once asked me what it was I saw in her that makes it worth all the trouble....In order to answer that question, I would have to go all the way back, to before Avri and I officially met... I had watched her; for a long time before I said a word.  She was social, but not like most girls.  You rarely saw her out, but you could  tell her interactions were genuine, and the people she surrounded herself with mattered to her.  Even the individuals who seemed no where near her level could be at perfect ease in her presence.  She was gorgeous, no question, yet it was probably the last thing she would present about herself.  She KNEW it; and it wasn't all about the physical.  Avri wasn't the type of girl who rotated different guys regularly, so if she was involved with someone, it meant something.  I got my first real introduction to the world of Avri James when we worked on campus at the office of Greek Life together.  She had already been there two and a h


  There comes a time in every person's life when they are pushed to their breaking point.  Depending on your strength and determination, there will be one of two outcomes:  If you're not strong enough, it will literally BREAK you-drive you insane.  Hopefully, you find your way back.  Then, there's the other instance, where you ARE strong enough; there's just not holding back.  With every emotional trigger is going at once...You just can't take it anymore; and so, you BLOW...The way you needed to, ALL along... What happens when you let someone in is, you end up exposing all of your vulnerabilities, one by one.  If you are truly connected to someone, you are fully exposed.  Therein, you are fully protected, so it's not supposed to matter.  It's when those walls come down that the true test of character happens.  I like to think I'm pretty tough taking most things in stride that would have broken others.  But I'm not a machine.  I CANNOT be constantly p