Forward

 

Under normal circumstances, this would have been one of the most uncomfortable conversations ever, but, on the contrary, I was actually quite at ease.  Adonis looked as if he was about to jump out of his skin.  He kept starting to speak, and then stopping.  I could tell he was struggling, but the more I said, the more he suffered.  I could not do anything to make this better for him, he had to face his truth alone.  He sat for a while, quiet, then finally said, "SO, the you that lies beneath, is in Love with the HIM that lies beneath; this will NEVER change..." "EXACTLY," I began, "but the way I see it, he doesn't deserve it.  What has he done but hurt you?"  A sense of relief washed over me, he did seem to get it.  "That connection, is ALL that I care about.  This Avri and Landon stuff is all secondary; I have already EXPERIENCED him.  If he doesn't get it, then it's his problem and HIS loss.  I have NO interest whatsoever in his persona.  It was because of it that allowed me the space and opportunity to meet you.  I just want to BE.  I want us to remain close, I DO enjoy your company, but I need you to be OK with the TRUTH; I cannot make the mistake of hurting someone in that way again.  You have to accept this for what it is, and perhaps, one day, I WILL feel the same."  He nodded in agreement, apologizing for pushing so hard.  I told him I wasn't upset, and not to think of it as an ending, it was never intended to be.  We had a date scheduled for the weekend that I had every intention of keeping...

I walked out of the coffee shop feeling AMAZING...It was too nice of  a day to go straight home.  I headed in the direction of Melanie's house to see what she was up to.  Melanie and I were true Soul Mates.  We had known each other our whole lives, but it feels like long before that.  Even when we didn't speak for long periods of time, our lives till seemed to parallel each other.  We would unknowingly gravitate towards the same things, later to share them with one another, only to be tickled at the fact that we were both already on it.  I couldn't wait to tell her about that whole scene at the coffee shop.  I was really proud of me for what I had just accomplished.  I wanted to pass the empowerment on, and couldn't think of a better person to share it with.  Everything now seemed possible in those moments.  A rush of creative ideas was flooding over me; I was lighting up from the inside out.  Tonight was the full moon; just in time for some much-needed crystal cleansing and sister bonding...

Funny thing about Mel and I, we could have just been together the day before, and we will still greet each other and chat like it had been weeks.  She was definitely my favorite person to be around-no matter what.  As I entered the living room of her mother's second floor walkup, my nose was immediately filled with the smell of Clary Sage, Lavender, and Ylang Ylang; incense were burning all around.  I followed the scent of the Ylang Ylang, and it led me straight to Mel.  She was sitting on the floor, surrounded by every crystal she owned; including those she had fashioned into various pieces of jewelry.  Her eyes were racing from one stone to the next; Melanie had a little something on her mind, and wasn't finding the comfort from her crystals that she was used to.  I carefully made my way to the desk chair, being sure not to disturb her.  I knew better than to come between Melanie and her feelings!  I pulled out a notebook from my bag and started jotting down the ideas that popped in my head on the way over.  Mel at last broke her concentration long enough to acknowledge my presence.  "Hey Sis," she sounded outdone.  I patiently waited for her to start talking; slowly, but surely...

The look on her face told me this had something to do with Drew.  She was never this far outside herself about anything else.  The question was, 'what had he done NOW?!'  This situation was sooo precarious.  Mel and Drew were NOT together-as a matter of fact, Mel was very involved in a serious relationship.  Even still, Mel and Drew were TRUE Twin Flames; in every sense of the words.  NO ONE else mattered when they were in a cycle of Union.  There is NO stopping or breaking of the TF Connection.  Fighting it causes unimaginable pain.  Surrender to it's power is the only option.  "I'm feeling this sense of unrest...there's someone in our space; someone I don't like; and a relationship I CANNOT tolerate...it's the Heaux that shall remain nameless..."  If I didn't know Mel better, I would have been shook; I mean, the hairs on the back of my neck were standing at attention.  She was RIGHT.  I could confirm this as fact because I had seen it with my own eyes.  Drew HAD been consorting with her, who ultimately became the demise of Melanie and Drew.  I was now feeling anxious too; I slid out of the chair to the floor in the space beside her and wrapped both arms around Mel.  Maybe I could absorb some of the pain and make it a little better.  "I CAN'T do this again, the fact that we ALL made it out of the last situation alive is a miracle in and of itself!  Why is this happening to me?!"  The question was directed at the universe; the former was for me...I didn't say anything at first, just taking it all in, trying to fully understand what was going on.  Mel had made the conscious decision a while back to move on from Drew and make a real attempt at a happy, peaceful life with someone else.  The TF connection had proven more than she could bear, and instead of it bringing her into Drew, it actually had the opposite effect, and had taken her as far away from him as she could possibly get.  Mel kept gathering different combinations of crystals around her in an attempt to balance and cleanse her energy.  The harder she went, the more stress her face and body seemed to harbor.  It wasn't working...

"You know Mel, there are some things in life that we aren't meant to get over; sometimes the only way over, is to go THROUGH.  It may be time to stop running from this in an attempt to get away from whatever is going to happen between you and Drew.  Perhaps it's time to face it; whatever it is you have inside, and see this entire mess through till the end.  It's time for closure-there's just no moving on without it."  She sobbed a little..."Omg, why do I always feel so naked and exposed after talking to you?!  I don't want to be a big girl about this!"  Melanie said through multiple whining sounds.  "At the end of the day, YOU of all people know exactly what's going on-you CANNOT outrun your soul.  I'm not telling you to throw all caution to the wind, but you HAVE to be completely honest with yourself about what you feel, and not be afraid of the outcome.  If you truly know what you KNOW, tell me then, what is the source of your fear?!  Whatever happens in the end, is EXACTLY as it should be.  You just have to be brave enough to find out."  Mel smiled.  "Stop being right and just let me stay in my feelings!"  We rose to our knees, and began gathering her stones on the window sill.   "It's time Love; you KNOW it; and there's nothing left to do but ACCEPT.  Now,  the HOW this all happens, is the tricky part!"  We both collapsed on her bed in laughter, and let out a long, satisfying sigh.  Yea, it's the HOW we have to be worried about...