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Giant: The Adonis Perspective

 


Co Written By: A. Reid

Avri once asked me what it was I saw in her that makes it worth all the trouble....In order to answer that question, I would have to go all the way back, to before Avri and I officially met...

I had watched her; for a long time before I said a word.  She was social, but not like most girls.  You rarely saw her out, but you could  tell her interactions were genuine, and the people she surrounded herself with mattered to her.  Even the individuals who seemed no where near her level could be at perfect ease in her presence.  She was gorgeous, no question, yet it was probably the last thing she would present about herself.  She KNEW it; and it wasn't all about the physical.  Avri wasn't the type of girl who rotated different guys regularly, so if she was involved with someone, it meant something.  I got my first real introduction to the world of Avri James when we worked on campus at the office of Greek Life together.  She had already been there two and a half years, and so, she trained me.  After watching her for so long, I couldn't believe how NICE she actually was!  One thing about Ms. James is that she had this face that she would make that would make ANYBODY think twice about approaching her!  NEVER had a girl treated me so well with no ulterior motive behind it.  She didn't even flirt.  Even when things seemed to bother her, she would take a few deep breaths and say, "small things to a giant", and continue on with whatever she was doing.  I later found out she was seeing someone; so was I.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my girlfriend; but there was just something about Avri James that stuck with me.  Being in that office together each day, I watched her reject one man after another; all for the sake of her current situation.  It made me want that in MY relationship.  It made me want to be a better boyfriend to my girl.  She was fully committed, and didn't allow anything in that could potentially hurt their relationship.  I couldn't help but admire that.  I found myself thinking, "damn, I hope some day, a woman will love ME that deeply...

Avri was a year older(hence why she affectionately refers to me as her P.Y.T!), and so we parted ways after her graduation.  We had become good friends, and so we kept in touch over the years.  She held a special place in my heart, so she was never far from my thoughts.  Years later, I found myself ending that same relationship I had been in since college.  It was going absolutely nowhere.  We both agreed it was the end of the line and time to go our separate ways.  I was frustrated.  I had wasted so much time and energy on a person who really didn't want shit.  She wasn't focused on her own happiness, let alone mine.  Avri had already parted ways previously for the same reason.  She was now in the process of following her heart, and doing what made her happy.  She spoke openly about the man she was currently seeing.  He was someone from her past, but in a very vulnerable moment, she confessed that she had been in love with him before I even knew her, and would always feel that way.  I listened intently; although it's the last thing a guy in my position wants to hear.  Yet, something was definitely happening to me below the surface...real feelings were beginning to brew for Ms. Avri James...

Even though she was seeing this guy, it didn't appear AT ALL to be serious.  If it was, the Avri I know would never have given me the opportunity to get this close.  She loved him, but they weren't together.  There's no way in hell you have somebody like that in your life and she spends more time with me than you.  I mean, everybody has feelings, but they can be wrong, right?!  This was MY shot:  if I could show Avri what she was worth, show her what she meant to ME, then I would finally have the intimacy I so desperately wanted-    and ONLY from Avri.  I wanted ALL of her; from the Inside Out.  That was the only part of her that I felt like she was keeping from me, and it drove me INSANE.  The more she kept it from me, the more I craved it.  I was determined to show her I was worthy of her devotion.  Once she gave it to me, she would never have to fear hurt.  I would do everything in my power to love Avri the way she deserved for as long as I lived.  She has to be SOMETHING; we barely even touched!  I had to know it all; any and everything that could get me closer to her.  At this point the other guy was a non-factor; or I assume as much because I had as much access to Avri as I wanted.  It was obvious that it wasn't going anywhere, therefore there was nothing disrespectful in my pursuit of this amazing woman.  I was very respectful, however, of her feelings, not pushing my agenda, and going along at Avri's pace...What can I say, I LOVE being with her.  I know there will come a day where that vault she calls a heart fully opens to me.  In the meantime, I can just enjoy being with her from one day to the next.  I love how being with her is as easy as being with one of my boys, no matter what we are doing.  The smallest things make her ridiculously happy, and I love being the one to make her smile.  Why, you ask?!  Because she's WORTH IT, and I deserve EVERY part of her...and I plan on getting it; SOON!

I would build my whole entire world around Avri; if only she would let me.  I HAVE to be the one that knows her like no one else; better than she knows herself.  I want to know the rhythm of her heartbeat.  When we are together, just looking at TV and she drifts off, I watch her sleep; just thinking how I don't ever want her to go.  Most times, she's barely close enough for me to catch the faint scent of her skin, and it drives me CRAZY!  I don't have any of life's secrets tucked away, or claim to understand the universe; but I do know the powers that BE don't make mistakes about the people they bring into your life.  If you are lucky to happen upon an individual twice in a lifetime that lights you up from the inside, its not a coincidence.   You DO NOT let them go.  I'm certainly not.  I'm saying it here first, I'm In Love with you Avri James...SMDH...But first, I gotta convince her to come away with me for the rest of the Summer; she doesn't have any obligations for a few weeks...Why the fuck would she stay on Richmond?! 

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