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Showing posts from 2022


  I could hear the sound of the rain before I opened my eyes, and smiled.  It was the perfect start to my day; the combination of rain, and waking up in the one place I was always meant to, OUR bed.  After the endless back and forth, and bullshit I could no longer account for, Landon and I had finally done it.  It felt like all we EVER did was talk and make plans about shit that was never executed.  The truth of the matter is, we didn’t DO much of anything.  This was a completely different experience, and I was still in disbelief; still a little afraid to open my eyes in case I had been dreaming.  I felt him stir next to me; confirmation.  I was safe.  I scanned the bed and nightstand quickly for my book, trying to move as little as possible.  Now that we lived together, these early morning hours were my only guarantee of quietness with my own thoughts.  Sharing my life with someone in this was new, yet EXACTLY where I was meant to be.  THIS, is what it had all been about; what it was

The Ascent

 To meet, and intertwine with your Twin Flame, in ANY incarnation, is a direct testament to your connection with the Divine.  It’s the most fulfilling, and powerful, yet painful relationship experience a person can have.  It’s not meant to merely provide you with the ideal partner, the true purpose is to be the catalyst that triggers your spiritual expansion and growth.  It isn’t until we come to that realization that life stops being such a struggle.  The connection is so strong, it seems impossible to break-because it IS.  You can never ultimately break from one’s self; attempting to do so will be both devastating and detrimental.  To deny yourself is to deny the one true Source of ALL.  A TF is ONE soul, occupying two different physical forms simultaneously.  Because of Ego, this relationship can and WILL be the most arduous endeavor you will ever embark on, for it’s meant to TRANSFORM you from the inside out.  It teaches you how to exist in the most authentic form; within the confi


  One thing is for sure, whenever two people are separated for an extended period of time, ESPECIALLY Twin Flames, you kinda need to hibernate for a while.  You know, just be absent from the public and outside energy for a bit; to protect your newly reinstated peace; to focus on just each other.  Even though we couldn’t REALLY get away at the moment, we did a pretty good job of maintaining our own private bubble in which we could exist.  “ I’ve got some running around to do, but I want to spend the whole day talking to you about everything and nothing at all.  THEN, I want to spend the whole night re-acquainting with your body.  I need to re-learn it, ALL of it; the smell, taste, touch, and sounds of EVERYTHING.” Landon said as we pulled up to my house.  “So you’re going to call me as soon as you’re free then?!” I asked.  “Nah, we are gonna do things a little differently today, that is, if you aren’t busy…”  My curiosity was officially peaked; “Well I have a few things to update on the

The Mist

  Words have the power to both destroy and create; to devastate, and HEAL.  It’s our choice as human beings to wield the power accordingly.  The talk Landon and I had that night turned out to be the first of MANY.  It was absolutely amazing to express myself freely, without any fear of what I was saying not being accepted.  This is what I KNEW.  The past 2.5 years had felt so strange; I was finally HOME.  Landon was being effected too; in the best way; and it showed.  He was patient, attentive, and able to accept being loved on such a major level.  Soon, whatever he felt, or popped into his head, he was sharing; no matter how awkward it had the potential to be.  I was getting random calls, just to ask the simplest of questions, or to check in with how I was feeling.  Me and my emotions had began to gain a foothold in his heart once again.  Funny, we never really think about what things will be like when you finally get what it is you want, or what the experience will actually FEEL like


 “This is it, I promise.”  Landon’s voice was once again disturbing the tranquility of “Babbling Brook”.  I didn’t mind though, his willingness to talk and eagerness to understand felt nice; it felt RIGHT.  I smiled, eyes still closed, and groggily whispered, “Landon please, tomorrow.  We can pick up right from here, and I guarantee you, it’s not your final question!”  “I know, but you know you can’t tell a piece of something, or teach me something, especially when it’s about us, and not expect me to want to know everything right now.  You know I’m nosey like that!”  I smiled again, giving in, “Ok my love, what is it?!”  He perked up and got comfortable, attention completely focused on me.  “So you mean to tell me, all this time everything was as simple as honest conversation?! I mean, all the bullshit, the back and forth, had we just stayed true to what was already there, and rocked with it, then none of this would have happened?!”  His gaze intent…   “Well no, not exactly.  All I eve

Jesse Powell

“I Accept the Divine Moment of Life”  Those really must have been my final words; it was like, once I said them, a door that had been tightly shut, denying me entry, had at long last FLEW open.  Adonis and I departed shortly after to commence with our date that was temporarily derailed unbeknownst to him.  We had a really good time.  There wasn’t anything holding me back.  I was fully present for every moment, and glowing from the inside out by the time we started making our way back to Richmond.  We decided to sit in the park around the corner for a while; after all, it was a beautiful night.  We talked about everything, and a whole bunch of nothing too; just killing time.  For some reason, we both seemed to be trying to stretch the moment-as if the second we returned to Richmond, SOMETHING would change things between us forever.  We laid in the grass on the side of the hill, staring up at the stars.  We were in a really nice space…As I started to notice the significant difference in

More Than Love

  Life pressed on, as it always does.  My letter remained open with no response.  I went about my normal one-two, keeping myself occupied with all the city had to offer.  Spring had finally arrived, and the months of being indoors were at an end.  Things were ALIVE around me, and I could feel it, for the first time in a long time.  My emotions were on “Triple E”-I was completely depleted, and had nothing left but 0 fucks to give.  Adonis and I couldn’t wait to get Outside!  He was making his way to Richmond as we speak.  After more than a year of  tip-toeing around a man pretending to be Landon, I fully accepted the fact that this wasn’t MY LANDON, and that I was going to have to sever all ties.  That letter was his last and final opportunity to keep Avri James in his world in ANY way.  Initially, I felt some type of way, I mean this is the other half of me.  That moment of weakness is what generated the letter.  Something inside felt like I had to at least let him know that this was a

Open Letter

 The one thing that resonated in my mind after the conversation with Adonis was that burning question, "Do you still feel Him?!"  My heart would only let me answer honestly.  So what was still haunting me, was it the fact that I had been brought face to face with a truth that I had been fighting so desperately to get away from?!  Or was it the fact that I was confessing it to a soul that had absolutely no bearing on our situation?!  I wasn't sure...but what I did know, is that I wanted to tell Landon, and I needed to do it before I lost my nerve.  He and I had been speaking on occasion, having mostly casual conversation, proceeding with the utmost caution.  It was time, however, for us to dive back into the forever that we were, and face each other, and our future, as the evolved, COMPLETE individuals we had grown into...It was time to OWN it... Something that has resonated with me throughout my entire journey back to myself is that forgiveness is for ME, not the offendin