You

 

Wow, what a difference the progression of time makes on any given situation...Over the past few months, life has taken some unforeseen paths that actually turned out far better than I could have ever hoped for.  I have watched people I have known for years grow and change; becoming more susceptible to their feelings, and learning to live from a truly honest place.  They are now happier they they have ever been, and able to do anything they put their minds to.  I was in LOVE with this flow of energy; my soul in complete alignment with it.  THIS place, was meant for ME...

One thing that definitely increased my whole "Moth to a Flame" persona exponentially was when the world became aware of my love for tarot cards, and my uncanny ability to provide relevant and accurate readings upon 1st sight.  Reading individuals, and having the capability to know exactly what they were feeling has always been unspoken, yet known...hence, why any and all randoms from near and far will provide me with the intimate details of their lives.  The Tarot Cards, however, were a physical representation; a beacon of sorts; that placed a bullseye on my back like never before.  It was like I was suddenly glowing in Neon; and there was no hope of hiding it.  One of my most recent encounters started out like any other; a stranger approaching me to hold a conversation; but it ended very differently than any of my prior 1st impressions...HMMMM, Curiouser, and CURIOUSER...

So one night after reading a very wound up Murray; as this had been his 3rdreading in the span of a week, I was packing my things up and heading inside.  The cards had given him almost identical info all 3 times-now all that was to be done was for him to take ownership over his own situation and learn how to serve HIMSELF.  His  road to success would not be paved with the intent and actions of others. Murray needed to shift his focus from the concerns of other people, to those of his own volition.  "Do it your Damn self!"  I screamed at him.  After a mini tantrum, he conceded defeat, and promised to worry himself for the time being-at least till his next reading!  While putting the last of my cards in my bag, I paused for a moment to enjoy the fact that I was ALONE; at long last!  I lingered in my chair a few moments longer, just enjoying the quiet.  While looking u at the night sky, I noticed out of my peripheral vision a figure standing at the base of my steps.  After turning my full attention to it, I realized it was the young man who had been standing across the street for some time, periodically appearing in the same spot throughout the night.  At last he worked up the nerve to speak, and he inquired what it was I was over here doing with Murray...

I briefly explained that I had been cleansing my crystals and giving him a Full moon Tarot Reading.    The young stranger was intrigued, and began telling me how he recently embarked on his own spiriual journey.  Clutching a piece of raw obsidian he wore around his neck, he recounted the details of how t came into his possession, and the intimate details of his life for the past 6 moths.  I sat, listening intently, fully aware that, for whatever reason, this person NEEDED to tell his story; more importantly, someone needed to HEAR it.  There wasn't anything particularly sensational in his tale; it was actually a very familiar story-one of love, loss, and finally, rebuilding.  With my energy all but depleted, I offered to read his Tarot at a later date.  He understood, but inquired if my intuition had picked up on anything about him that I could relay; if his Aura held any incites into his current life.  I gave him an honest answer, "You want so badly to love and be loved, you will force ANY situation to fit.  Every woman you meet isn't a romantic opportunity.  You are in serious trouble of becoming 'That Guy'."  He immediately caught the hint; thanked me as we parted ways; indicating we would touch basis in the near future for a 'proper' reading...

 I laid awake in bed that night, thinking about the events that had transpired that night.  There was something in the strangers willingness to openly share what he was on his mind.  He needed an outlet, and found it in an unfamiliar soul.  I find it so peculiar how we are sometimes able to better express our emotions to people we don't even know.  Why was he spilling his guts to me?!  Why do so many follow suit?!  What was happening that this individual could find NO ONE of any value in his life to listen to him?  I felt a bit of sadness arise for him.  While lost in this thought, my phone lit up beside me-it was Adonis.  It was a very welcome surprise that fully disengaged me from my previous thoughts.  We hadn't really had much time to spend with each other lately, so the warmth in his voice was extra inviting, and full of anticipation.  I could hear the smile in his voice.  "I know I have been travelling a lot lately, but it's getting cold outside, and I miss my apartment.  I'm ready to be warm and comfortable on my couch at night with you...wrapped up in a blanket next to me."  Great minds really do think alike; I had a very similar thought all week..."That actually sounds pretty damn good!" I responded.  "Did you receive my package?  I was a little busy today, so I didn't get a chance to call earlier to check."  I scanned the room quickly, and sure enough, sitting on top of my desk was a small blue package neatly tied with a bright pink ribbon...

I smiled at the sight of the vibrant wrapping, wondering why no one in the house had notified me of it's arrival.  I leapt cheerfully from the bed, and within seconds, I had the box in hand.  I carefully untied the bow and removed the lid.  Inside was a mini crown that had been fashioned into a ring.  There were 5 hearts of varying sizes, with the largest at the center.  Atop the heart sat a golden diamond with 4 stones.  Taped to the lid of the box was a hand-written note that read, "I had a song stuck in my head for days; Troop, "All I DO is Think of You".  It wasn't just any part, "Hey that's the girl for you/So what are you gonna do?!" I saw this, and suddenly, I had my answer...."  "The ring was gorgeous, no doubt, " I replied, "but I'm confused at to what the question was!"  He let out a deep sight and said, "Over the past few weeks that we have been separated I found myself getting frustrated by the fact that we seem  to be in the same place we have been.  We get along great and enjoy each other's company, but you still keep me at a distance.  Of course I know why, but I also know that now, there's nothing there; there's no one between us.  I never overstepped, and respect your space.  Now that it's over, I'm asking Avri, honestly, what do you think about you and me?!"  My head held only one singular thought, "If I answer incorrectly, does that mean I don't get to keep the ring?!"  WTF Avri, who raised you dawg?!  Why does your mind work like this?!  

It was this lower vibrational thinking that had brought me here.  Exposing yourself to people and things that are beneath you eventually begin to effect you in ways you don't truly recognize right away.  If you engage long enough, you may lose yourself altogether, forgetting that you are better than your surroundings, your situation; forgetting what you DESERVE.  The next thing you know you are wondering why you haven't grown; gotten better; why it is you are exactly where you were at the start; or maybe even how you ended up in your current romantic entanglement.  Just like that, you arrive at your moment of clarity.  All you can think when you look at that person is, "How the fuck did I get here, with YOU?!  I let myself down; you are NOT good enough for me." Sometimes, something has to fall completely apart, I mean really be destroyed, in order for it to be rebuilt into something worth actually having.  Who knows how it all happened; perhaps it's because you started accepting the very shit (and people) who were never on you level.  Whatever the case, your stagnation is a direct result of who you choose to put your energy INTO.  Concrete cannot be converted into a diamond, no matter how hard we squeeze…Stop wasting your time. Settling for less makes me a coward. Nahh...sorry my nigga; not this time around;  I am COMPLETELY aware of who I am and what I am WORTH...I want LEVITATION... 

Now to relay this to Adonis with as little emotional collateral damage as possible...Yikes Avri, you really are a piece of work!  Yes, yes I am...but not for Adonis...Oh well, at the end of the day, if the shit that comes out of your mouth is too wild for men to handle, at least they’ll say I’m easy on the eyes...