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"Eden"

 

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By the time I got to the end of Grove St, I had all but convinced myself I was ready to go in and talk to him.  I looked down at my watch.  I had been gone over an hour already.  It I was going to slip back in undetected, now was my chance.  My phone hadn't rang, which meant he immediately went back to sleep after our brief call.  He might not even remember I wanted to have a conversation.  Stop marking time Avri.  Go handle your business.  I eventually wandered back to my dorm; as I placed my key in the door, I heard Landon's voice on the other side; he was on the phone.  So much for avoiding detection!  I felt my throat begin to close-he's going to ask me what's up as soon as I walk in.  I took a deep breath, and pushed the door open slowly.  I peered inside, and found Landon fully engrossed in a conversation with Jaxson about whatever they were both watching.  His laughter immediately put me at ease, as I slipped out of my jacket, and hung it on the back of my desk chair.  He looked up at me, still smiling, and gestured for me to give him another minute or so with Jaxson.  Cool; I was in no hurry to babble on incoherently.  I didn't take my place next to Landon on the bed, I strategically chose my desk chair instead.  At least I could pretend to write until he was done.  In all actuality, I was just sitting; reminding myself to breathe every few seconds or so.  The laughter subsided, and I could no longer hear their mindless chatter softly in the background-the conversation was over...

 The show was still on, so his attention immediately reverted to that.  "This is the VERY last time you will feel this way."  I heard the affirmation repeating over and over in my mind.  I have always known without knowing that Landon does love the shit out of me, and nothing changes that.  There are no words I could ever say to undo it.  This gave me the strength and fortitude I needed.  At long last, I was READY.  With every breath I took, a little more of my confidence returned.  I felt STRONG.  I'm not certain how long I sat there in my own thoughts, but it was the heat from Landon's hand resting on my leg that brought me back to the present moment.  He was looking at me.  "What are you thinking about?!"  He asked.  He put my hand inside his own, walking me over to the bed, and seating me in his lap.  "I need something," I began.  "Anything."  Landon responded.  "I need this wall that has been between us for the past few months to be GONE.  I don't know how to BE when it comes to us.  I feel like I'm being suffocated from the inside out, and all I want to do is TALK to you-the way we always have.  You know, where I seemingly give you a preview of my thoughts, and you miraculously get the whole picture.  I want YOU back!!!  Don't you MISS that?!  I don't want to play games, I need our Avri and Landon."  He sat for a while, just taking in what I said.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't anticipating his response, and had no anxiety behind what he might say.  I felt only relief.  I watched him, studying my face for any indication that I might just be being a little extra at the moment.  He knew I was dead serious.  We just sat like that for a really long time.  I didn't say anything else; I didn't need to...

The wall, at long last, felt like it was beginning to crumble.  It was like opening the to a room I had been trapped in, completely devoid of windows.  Letting the light back in felt amazing.  Even though it wasn't All-Consuming, I definitely felt our connection much more strongly than I had in months; our resonance was BACK!  There are only 2 objects in the entire Universe vibrating at this frequency, and we were TOGETHER.  We had been through the "Dark of Night"(as I would later learn!), and survived.  I felt invincible.  Too excited and overcome, I decided to take it slow, easing us back into our bubble.  There was so much we had both been through on the INSIDE, I didn't want to smother the spark before it caught fire.  Just FLOW, Avri.  The Universe had kept it's promise, so I would keep mine...

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