Skip to main content

My Latter Will Be Greater....



So sweet to the ear, yet so bitter to the restless soul.

I'm so torn.

Do you ever get the feeling that you're not where you're suppose to be?  That's me.  I feel stuck.  I don't know where I'm suppose to be.  I'm soooo tired of waiting for life to happen to me.  I've done it all right so far, or at least I think I have. Put God first. Honor your mother and father. Love others as yourself.  Post-secondary education.  Career.  Wonderful friends.  An abundance of income.  Why Aren't I HAPPY? Why aren't I in LOVE?

It's funny how things come into perspective as an adult.  The entire time I was growing up, all that concerned me was having my career and being successful by the time I reached maturity.  I didn't see the need in complicating my life with extra people, ie a husband and kids.  I always figured if one preceded the other, than OK, I would reproduce.  But as far as a biological longing, um, NO!

I long for those days.

Now my head seems to be filled with endless possibility.  Every hint of lace opens the door for countless hemlines on beautiful infant dresses, and every lovely word uttered is a perspective name for that one in a billion superstar child I'm suppose to give life.  I have become completely disgusted with the idea that I will ever find The ONE.

 I think my rib was donated.

I want to share my life.  I want to give myself to someone who matters and have something real.  None of these things matter.  "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..."  Sooo much easier said than done.  I have been waiting.  "My Grace is sufficient for thee..."  Lord I hear you.  Your hand will not be forced.

I like that.

Perhaps I'm not festering, maybe I'm being refined.  Perhaps the longer I simmer, the better the end result will be.  The ONE could be somewhere being handcrafted by The Lord to be my ALL.  Oooooo Yeah!  I think I CAN wait!  While I do, I don't see the harm in heading down to King Street for a little while to check out King Dusko's.  I might as well look at some fabulous art while my diamond is being excavated!~~~~~Avri James Out!

Photo Source:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/560346378614795717/

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Breeze"

  It's amazing how intoxicating Peace can be.  When I say that absolutely Nothing  was happening in my World-and I couldn't be happier.  My friends were currently tired of me dishing out the exact same advice, "be honest about how you feel" at the moment.  Eh, that's literally the root of every  single problem ya'll are currently facing.   My family had even gotten hip to the fact that I was no longer simply saying 'yes' to any and all requests, so they really didn't have shit to say to me😂.  People have a tendency to keep their distance-and their business to themselves if you're not vested in what they have going on; more so if you aren't miserable and willing to commiserate...I'm MORE than OK with that.  As the Summer crept on, I found it harder to sleep straight through the night.  This wasn't anything new, I sometimes experience a little seasonal insomnia from time to time.  It had just begun to rain as I opened my eyes....

Essence

  I've never felt so deep in Love/ I think it's because you've touched a special part of Me.../ Hope I'm the One you're thinking of/ You must be feeling the same way I do/ Can't see being in Love without you... ~ Donnell Jones I Wanna Love U When an idea hits me, it’s nearly impossible for me to rest until it comes to fruition-no, like, every little detail!  I found this to be particularly inconvenient when I was going through one of my creative tangents...all I could do in those times was create...At any hour of the night, inspiration could hit, and I was wide awake; emptying the contents of my brain with a fervor that could only be described as villainous.  It was 2:49am, and my eyes snapped warily open..."OMG really?!  I thought I was going to have at least one night of unbroken rest this week!"  I said out loud, agitated.  "What?!  What is it tonight?!  I thought all that ephemera I cut up while watching Downton Abbey would suffice!"  Jus...

Siren

  "I gave you all the Love I got, I gave you all that I could give, I gave you Love...This is No Ordinary Love, No Ordinary Love...and I'm Falling..."                                                     ~Sade Sometimes I get the feeling that the Universe utilizes our lives as it's sole source of entertainment.  When I look at the shit we keep being presented with on a daily basis, it's becoming more and more apparent that the Creator is using us for shits and giggles.  Have you ever had a scent take you some place?  They say that scent is the closest of our senses tied to memory.  It can trigger emotions, reminding us of a specific space in time.  With the slightest sniff, we are immediately transported to that place; perhaps even a person... I had just gotten out of the shower, eager to start my day by opening a fresh bottle of ...