Equilibrium

 

I Love it when a story causes controversy!!  Boy this last one got you guys talking, whether you enjoyed the outcome or not, and effected you in a real way in the comment section!  It really set these internet streets on fire!😂  The chemistry between Adonis and Avri had you guys tearing up my inbox to ensure that this was truly a retrospect(sheesh guys, I KNOW what retrospect means!), and that Landon and Avri would be back on track this week.  To answer your question, Read ON...

"Stimulate her intellect, nurture her spirit, explore her body."

                                                   @StephanSpeaks 

Being awaken suddenly from a sound sleep might be one of the most jarring actions known to man-especially when it's someone else's dream that wakes you...I've never been the type to be able to sleep places other than home.  I wasn't that little girl who ran to sleepovers on weekends, or spent nights with cousins or family friends.  Sleep has always been sacred to me; I needed the unmatched safety of Home.  The one and only exception to this rule, of course, was Landon.  He IS my home; no matter what...So imagine my surprise finding myself being pulled from slumber around 4am by Landon's constant moving; he was having Some dream...I felt his hand rest gently on my back, shaking me lightly.  "Baby, are you awake?!"  He said, with slight distress in his voice.  I sat up, "What's the matter?!"  I asked.  I just had a crazy ass dream; more like a nightmare; but then it turned out alright in the end; but fuck that, it was a nightmare!"  Landon said, sounding offended.  He sat silently for a few more moments , almost in disbelief.  "Well what happened Love?  Sometimes it helps to talk about it."  Landon pulled me closer, completely encapsulating me in his arms...

"Baby, it was Terrible!  I don't know where TF I was, but it definitely wasn't here.  I was in a world that was almost exactly like this, but some major shit was different.   I still had the store, and I was me, and you were there too, with your studio and doing your lil crafty shit-but there was no US.  I mean, yea, we knew each other from Richmond, but that's it.  Sometimes we would be in the same place and not even speak; and this was just normal.  The weird part about it was, I knew, the whole time, that it was supposed to be more...I could feel it.  I would see you, and out of nowhere be thinking, 'I wonder what it would be like to wake up next to Avri?!"  In the dream, it sounded strange to even contemplate, but somehow, it felt right..."That's what us spiritual people call a lucid dream.  It's when you have consciousness in a dream, and are aware that your are in this space.  It's a great way to work out shit that bothers us subconsciously.  Look at you having a higher level spiritual experience!"  I said with a giggle.  "I wish I DID realize it was a dream, then maybe I would have taken control...

I started finding any excuse to ride through Richmond, just to catch an uninterrupted glance at you, and just think about the way things should be.  I fantasized about what you tasted like; how your skin smelled; those brown eyes furtively watching me as I give you head.  I wondered about all the ways I could drive you crazy(secretly wondering how it was I already seemed to know); but most of all, I wondered what you loving me would be like in the physical.  I couldn't imagine it pictures, but I could feel it.  It was more real to me than anything around me in the dream.  I needed to See what I was feeling; Live it..."  I cut in momentarily, "Wow, this dream got a lot going on already!"  "It felt soo real; it felt like life.  I went through each day, in its entirety.  I went to the store, ran around the city, went home at night, watched tv, ate, and went to bed.  I woke up the next day, and did it all over again; over and over again.  The worse part of this fucked up dream was that there was absolutely no chance for us.  In real life, I always have the fact that there is Something between us; inevitably.  Even if you not feeling me at first, you eventually come around; its something I have learned to trust and depend on.  There, I had no safety net.  You didn't even look at me the way only you can.  I felt like LL Cool J in the 'Hey Lover' video!"  Landon said indignantly...

"Well, if there's anything I know about you, it's 'NO' is not a word you particularly embrace when it comes to me-in the dream world or any other.  What bullshit and shenanigans did you get up to attempting to turn the tide in your  favor?!"  I asked furtively.  Landon smiled in the way only real hustlers can..."Oh you know I had a plan, right?!  So you were a fiend for the devil's lettuce in this dream world too, so I was gonna use that to my advantage.  The plan was to catch you out on Richmond alone one night when I was leaving the store.  I was gonna pull up and ask you to take a ride so you could roll for me."  "Yea, but you probably roll better than any man I know, and you don't even smoke for real!"  I squealed.  "You don't know that there Avri, it was gonna work!  Besides, I really just wanted you as relaxed as possible before saying anything.  Remember, I was starting from ground zero with this other Avri.  I even went to the corner store and got those pink papers you like, hoping you noticed.  When it came down to it, I had company.  You came down the stairs, we chatted briefly about bud, and I reluctantly handed you my last way into your life while pretending to be surprised you smoked...or so I thought...

The next day, I was mentally punching myself in the face because I had absolutely no idea how I was gonna get close to you  now.  You had an entirely different world that you existed in outside of Richmond that I didn't know anything about.  I tried to orchestrate running into on the street, but I couldn't make it make sense without looking like a stalker; you would know right away.  I had all but given up; I was coming to the realization that the you and me that I felt so strongly would only exist in my head.  I would just date you there; smell you there; touch you there.  I may be relentless when it comes to this version of Avri James because I always know where I stand with you.  We ARE, and that's it.  there is no in between.  You are mine, completely, from the inside out.  No matter what you are doing, or who you are dating, that doesn't change-it CANNOT change, because it's the Truth.  For all I knew, this version of Avri James was head over heels in Love with someone else and would never think of me that way.  "Sooo you just accepted what was, and let me go?!"  I asked, a little hurt.  Well no, not exactly...

I woke up the next morning, and on impulse, I reached for my phone to call you, forgetting where I was.  I just wanted to hear your voice; feel your energy; I just wanted to Breathe.  I tried to dial your number before realizing I didn't know it.  I frantically searched through my contacts for your name, but it wasn't there.  That's when it hit me; you really were NOT apart of my world.  I can't describe specifically what I was feeling, but it felt pretty disgusting.  I rolled over to go back to sleep.  I was gonna try that wakeup all over again.  I rolled over flat onto my stomach, moved all of the pillows out of the way, and shut my eyes tightly.  Just then, my phone lit up with a text message that read, "I think the two of us should have a conversation, don't you?!"  'WTF'?! I thought, but my curiosity was peaked...""Who is this?!"  I cautiously responded.  Moments later, your face appeared on my screen...it was You; Avri James...Even though I was crazy excited, I had to play it cool-I couldn't give anything away via text!  I kept it cute, saying I would meet you on Richmond later on that day!"  Landon said with a smile.  "Ok, now that definitely sounds like me, Yea Avri James for the Assist!"  I said jokingly.  "What happened next?!"  I asked.  "We met on Richmond, we had a conversation, and it changed the course of the rest of our lives.  It got us to precisely where we needed to be."  He said, kissing me on my forehead...

"Well that did turn out pretty excellent in the end, why are you calling it a nightmare?!"  I inquired.  "Because baby, you weren't there, you don't know how it felt  Home is a feeling; you know that; I am your Home.  I didn't fully understand that until I didn't have mine.  I couldn't come home with you.  I couldn't pop up at the studio to hug you, or call you when I'm pissed because somebody insulted my intelligence.  You weren't there to ask about my day; no one was there that didn't want something from me; no one to Love just me, for all that I am, and not what I do for them.  You weren't texting me every little thing that popped into your head because I'm on your mind, or sending me pics of your latest creations because you are genuinely excited and want to share that with me.  You were you, in every sense of the word, but you just were not giving me any of your energy in any way.  I couldn't call you when I wanted to; it wasn't OK, and I felt that.  I don't ever want to feel that again; dream or not..."

"Did you hear what I said, Avri?!"  Landon asked, almost sternly; gently adjusting my body to face him.  "Damn, that was some dream, I'm getting a lecture for some shit that didn't even happen!  It really bothered you, huh?!"  I said, rubbing his head in an attempt to relax him.  I felt his tension slowly begin to dissipate.  "You came through in the end though Avri.  You knew I needed I needed you, even in that wack ass dream, and you came for me.  You still loved me in the way only you can, and you didn't even know it.  I don't want to be anywhere that you're not my person; real, or imaginary.  Just keep choosing me...I know self sabotage is real, just keep choosing me, no matter what.  That way, next time, I can be the one to come for you..."  "It's A Promise!"  I said cheerfully, as my head dipped below a cascade of gold brocade blankets atop Landon's massive bed...