"I haven't had everything, But you come close to Everything that Love Means/In Heaven's Eyes, Love is and Embrace Between You and I/Now that WE have each other, I don't have to DREAM..."
~So Good Davina ft. Raekwon
Have you ever just stopped, took inventory of your life and realized that certain shit that used to matter, just doesn't anymore?! I'll take it a step further; in arriving a said conclusion, did you even miss it?! I mean, did you even notice it was gone?! Nope...because the Peace that replaced it far outweighs any nostalgia for past chaos...You've grown up...Just like that; while you weren't paying attention...You still Dream; but it's followed by inspired action to make that shit happen...YOU come first...your motivation comes from within; and that Light; that magnificent light that burns Only for you, shines brighter than ever...You couldn't conjure up any bullshit of your own in this moment even if you tried because this momentum is Divine, and ain't NO stopping it...It's knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a Bad Motherfucka and defecate all over this so-called intellectual material floating around in your sleep...you don't even TRY...It's called the Flow State bitches, and Here, was precisely where I was going to stay...
There is absolutely nothing in this world(or the Next!), that I am not capable of once I set my mind to it. Once it's in my heart, I'm locked in; and it's Mine...This only happens, however, through maintaining my inner Peace...Let's be clear-little to nothing gets inside...There are, er, a few "mitigating circumstances" that do come into play from time to time...I need very little to maintain my inner Peace, yet it is non-negotiable...my morning routine, wifi, a book, something to write with, water, cannabis, and Landon...having someone who cared enough understand every nuance and idiosyncrasy that is Avri James is simply indescribable...We are most perfectly balanced and evenly yoked with the person who is at their best where we fall short. What I wasn't, Landon was; and vice versa...It's like when I first learned to color; I used to admire the pages that were previously done by my mother; beautiful; neat; complete...all of mine were busy, hap-hazard, and half-finished. It wasn't until I asked, and was shown how to color in the lines, using a black crayon to go over the outline and make the colors really pop, did I understand that there was a method to everything in life...it was up to me to learn the rhythm in all things, and ride the beat if I wanted to be successful at anything; including relationships...Learning Landon's rhythm, had become one of my favorite past times...
Something we are certainly of one mind on, is being ABM(State Property; iykyk!), and so, in true Landon and Avri fashion, we chose to create a different kind of child altogether; we decided to build a business...In sooo many ways, it was JUST like anticipating the arrival of a baby!😅 It included all of the same anxieties...Are we prepared enough, unknown factors, late nights, the excitement, wondering how well it will be received; our lives changing forever...it was lowkey amazing...I'm creative; He's business-minded. I get to be fully in my feminine energy; without compromise...It's not for a man to keep a woman's mind in constant turmoil by wondering what the fuck is happening; it's to provide a safe space for her to produce, and be at her most radiant so she can not only shine for herself, but him as well...That in and of itself makes it worth it. It was a sorta melancholy day, and Landon and I had decided to stay in and focus on the brand. We had been working on converting his second room into an office space; fully equipped with the setup necessary to handle our high volume orders. At the moment, we were both seated at opposite ends of a table that was acting as a desk; laptops open; glasses On...
"The Greenleaf Podcast appearance is scheduled for the 3rd week in November; we have a 20 minute segment; and it's on camera; do you think we should have the wearable merch ready? I mean, we will need it for the pop-up scheduled 2 weeks later, whatchu think?!" I asked over the top of my screen. 5 seconds later, an instant message popped up..."Cool. 😎 But what did you have in mind? I may want to do my own thing!😜" I don't think I could've rolled my eyes any harder, "I showed you how to use that for when you and I are on video chat and need to share info! Not for when we are in the same room!" I said. Another message appeared..."Excuse me, Ms. James, we ARE currently in a meeting, and I would urge you to watch your tone, you are speaking with the CEO of this company!" As he peaked furtively over his his laptop; a full smile on his face...
After about an hour or so of marketing strategies, post edits, and pages and pages of stats(views across all 4 platforms, website views, and order fulfillments), Landon was ready to ejaculate because everything was in the green, and our profit margin was phenomenal...I was ready to break out!😂 lol I popped a link into the chat to have Landon review some of the profiles requesting access to our social media accounts, and I shifted my focus to designing mini pedestals to sit our small candles on. Landon hummed happily to himself; completely immersed in the element of being a virtual store owner; precisely where he belongs...As the evening set in, the fat girl inside of me could think of nothing else but food. I was standing in front of Landon's open freezer, trying to decide what to make, when I heard Landon make a puzzled "Hmmm." sound. It was just a sound, but it was something in the tone; I could immediately tell he was slightly bothered. Thinking that he had come across some nasty old man tryna give me worms through the Gram, I went into the room and took a seat on Landon's lap between him, and the laptop screen. He was still reviewing friend requests...at the very top of the list was a familiar name and face that I hadn't seen since college...Sterling Benton...
Do you guys remember, way back when; when I arrived on campus alone that 1st week of college because circumstances prevented Landon from being there? Do you remember that phone call where he to me he wanted me to have a real college experience, and to live my life? Do you remember that, despite Landon saying that, it still took me 6 months to go on a date? Well, that fateful date, was with Sterling Benton-and Landon knew it...As a matter of fact, I was still dating Sterling when Landon and I 1st laid eyes on each other after over 2 years apart...I caught a glimpse of another name a few requests down; Krystal Carr...if memory served me correctly, was now married to Sterling. I let out an identical "Hmmm." that Landon had just made a few minutes before. I pointed to Krystal's profile, and explained who she was. "There's no cause for concern, this is his wife, see, she's on it!😄 Go ahead and add them both, every REAL person that doesn't turn out to be a bot is a potential customer, right?" I said with a shrug...
I scanned Landon's face for the slightest intimation as to what he was thinking. He turned my body to face him, wrapping his arms around me. "You know what, sometimes I wish I never told you to do that; then, all of the dumb hit that followed would have never happened." Landon said solemnly. "What dumb shit?! Are you talking about me living my life without you?!" I asked, stunned. "Yup, Exactly. It was Bullshit!" He responded, very matter-of-factly. I thought for a moment, "Well, I guess great minds really do think alike, in my mind, any life you lived without me in it, was bullshit too!" I said with a smile. Landon bit me softly on the neck. "This, right here, right now, is ALL that matters Avri. What are we eating?!" I Loved this...being comfortable and confident in your position...everything doesn't need to be a thing when we are both present and on our shit...no need to speculate, or overthink, you can just Be...
We decided to spend the rest of the night doing all of the things we love when we were alone. It's funny, most of the things were the same; outside of my night showers, our wind downs were virtually identical. We spent the better part of 20 minutes deciding what to watch; most of the conversation was of our individual predictions on what we thought would happen next on a show we both watch; catching each other up on the ones we didn't. Once a decision was made, we spent the entire time talking back to the TV; telling the characters what they should have done. There was butter Pecan Ice Cream...brownies for me; honey buns for Landon; and two people in Love, enjoying each other's company. This, was all that really mattered to me; the perfect night...
It was so rare that Landon and I got to be here; in this space, where it was just about Us...I was straddled across his back, massaging him with warm coconut wax from one of our candles, when Landon began to wiggle beneath me. Suddenly, Landon got up and went into the other room. He re-appeared a few seconds later, "Fuck it, you're right. Everybody that's not a bot is a potential customer!" He said in response to the look of confusion on my face. "I just approved your boy-and his wife. Idk, I kinda like the idea of him seeing us winning, so let him! Besides, his wife's info is RIGHT THERE just in case he gets stupid!" "Ok." I said with a smile, shaking my head. It's cool though; I know I'm the only man in the Avri James Universe; I just don't want him thinking for one second that Ima let him spin this block ever again. You are still marrying me, right?!"...And there it was; Landon was fully present in his masculine energy too...
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