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"Naked"



Those of us currently walking the planet who are truly blessed, will have people in are lives who are the reflections of who we truly are.  If we are lucky enough, we see ourselves, and embrace this; even when what's being reflected back isn't a show of our finest hour.  For whatever reason, I seemed to be this mirror (completely unsolicited AND unwanted, BTW!) for almost everyone in my life.  The funny thing is, they ALL seemed to know it.  I was always expected to have some profound incite into what was happening in their lives.  Then there are the ones that just keep their distance altogether because they're afraid I'll see something that they're hiding from the rest of the world.    I don't want to be involved with anyone's shit!  As a matter of fact, I actively go around avoiding others because I have no desire to emmesh myself.  I have a mirror too; Landon.  I know all too well how hard it can be to face yourself, realizing that You are your only real obstacle.  I also know that all of our experiences with the outside world are a direct reflection of what's going on inside you.  The things we go through each day are opportunities to address the inner turmoil head on, and process it in a healthy way.  I was sitting at my desk in front of my computer the other day, thinking about all of this when my phone rang.  It was Melanie; all smiles and full of excitement...She and Hope were going shopping for a dress for the Spring Formal...

She had a whole plan in place for the entire process.  As Godmother, I was relieved that this was one task I was not obligated to participate in.  Melanie happily prattled away; painstakingly discussing every detail she had in mind.  I smiled to myself, knowing that Hope would be immediately squashing any idea she was not in complete agreement with.  I couldn't tell you who was actually going to the dance, Melanie or Hope!  I agreed to join the last leg of the journey, which included shopping for the shoes and purse once the final decision had been made on the dress.  If the Universe loved me the way I knew it did, that wouldn't happen today; leaving the rest of the afternoon for me to write and tie up any loose ends on my website for the week.  About two hours later, I received another call from Melanie; this time in full panic.  She was on the verge of a meltdown.  WTF could have happened in the wonderful world of fancy dresses, filled with Tulle and Rhinestones, in that short period of time that had her ready to lose her shit?!  One Word, or name, rather: Drew.  Melanie was screaming, and I was confused-and a little irritated.  What the Hell did Drew have to do with what was supposed to be going on?  Did I even feel like this RN?!

"Melanie, Really?! What is happening RN?  For the life of me, I cannot understand how You and Drew manage to turn any situation  into some shit about ya'll.  Bitch, you had one mission today-find your daughter a dress.  Real simple.  Please explain to me how and when he entered the chat."  I said, already aggravated by the little I did know.  "It's not my fault this time, I was sticking to the plan, looking for the dress.  Hope hadn't seen anything she liked yet; I was getting hungry, so I suggested we take a break to eat, and start fresh in an hour or so.  It wasn't until we got in the car that she asked me if we could stop by the grand opening of Drew's gym.  Apparently she had already mapped the location and saw it was just a few minutes from where we currently were.  I reluctantly agreed to go, but you know I don't want to, but this is my attempt at being an adult."  Melanie said; all in one breath.  "OK."  I replied calmly.  It wasn't as bad as I thought; the afternoon hadn't been completely derailed..."So just take a few deep breaths, swing big girl nuts, and make nice for about 30 minutes or so.  Make it quick; in and out."  I replied coolly.  "I need a handler."  She whined.  I rolled my eyes soooo hard.  Why do I even bother to plan on spending time alone?  The people in my life make perpetual plans for me.  "Ima be honest, I'm really not in the mood.  The way I'm feeling right now, I may just let you spit in his drink!"  I shot back.  "Oh, that's perfect then, that's exactly the mood I like you to be in when He's around!"  She said excitedly.  "Fuck it.  Bring on the Dumpster Fire, blowing up your own life seems to be your new favorite past time..."

The crazy things we do for the people we Love...30 minutes later, I found myself navigating to some small, obscure little town I had never heard of.  Outside of my initial objections over the purpose of this trip, I had found my silver lining-a luxury consignment shop just 7 short minutes away from my current destination.  I was determined to have some time just for me.  It was a gorgeous day, and all I kept thinking to myself were all the ways it could be better spent at the moment.  I am definitely a whole brat when I want to be.😁  After what seemed like forever, I arrived at the decidedly sparse parking lot.  It took no time for me to scan the lot in its entirety; quickly locating Melanie's car.  I slowly pulled into the empty space next to her.  She didn't notice me right away, completely lost in a ratchet ass song blaring on her car stereo.  Hope saw me and waved; a look of exasperation on her face.  I smiled my most re-assuring smile, conveying that the calvary had arrived.  It was a silent promise to do my best to ensure this situation stayed as amicable as possible.  Hope knew, probably better than most, that there was a place her mother could go when dealing with her father that no one had the ability to bring her back from.  It was my job as handler to prevent her from going there at all costs.  "Hey Bitch!"  Melanie said, now fully aware of my arrival.  The excitement in her voice had me feeling a little uneasy.  It was a stark contrast from what I witnessed earlier.  Oh boy, WTF did I just walk into?  The nervous look on Hope's face only added to my rising suspicion.  "Don't 'hey bitch' me, what you got up your sleeve?  Tell me now so Hope and I can just stay in the car.  I didn't come here to be dramatic; I'm chillin.  It's my day off, and I'm tryna relax!"  I said, replacing my sunglasses with my tortoise shell frames.  "WHHAATT?!  What you mean?!  I don't have shit up my sleeve, I'm just excited about seeing the inside of the gym!"  She responded, attempting to sound offended.  "Yea, aight Heaux.  Remember that when you see Drew."

We entered the complex undetected, the small crowd was dispersed throughout various parts of the building.  Drew's mother was the first to spot Melanie, and she immediately flocked to her in her generally phony fashion.  I cannot suffer Basic Bitches, young, or old for that matter-so I kept my distance.  Hope and I pretended to be interested in some exercise equipment.  Drew's mom created quite the spectacle around Melanie, which eventually lured Drew out into plain sight; like a moth to the flame...Hope bounced over to greet him, and they made a beeline for Melanie's direction.  It was a family affair, so I happily hung back; observing the situation from afar.  Everything seemed to be going along just fine, then noticed a familiar face approaching their small group.  It was Monie from the Cafe.  Her presence wasn't unusually strange, as Richmond was a tight-knit block, whose tendencies leaned towards traveling in familiar circles.  Upon approaching them, she made it a particular point to speak to Melanie.  "OMG Hey!  It's soo nice to finally meet you!"  Immediately, my Spidey Senses perked up.  Why, pray tell, was she looking forward to meeting Melanie?  Since when?  Why the spontaneous interest in Mel all of a sudden?  My eyes were now following her every motion.  She gravitated towards Drew, and they exchanged a few words.  Minutes later, she found her way back over to Melanie and Hope.  I couldn't hear what it was they were discussing, but the look on Mel's face said it wasn't her cup of tea.  Just then, Drew rejoined the party of three.  Melanie's look was giving discomfort-or constipation-that was my cue to get closer.  Drew and Monie discreetly walked off.  Just then, it ALL made sense..."I see you have a new fan."  I said to Melanie, casually strolling over to her.  "You saw that right?  I thought it was just me, but WTF was that?  I Don't know, but shit don't smell right.  I kinda wanna punch that bitch in her face though."  Melanie responded, never taking her eyes off the pair.  "So what you think that's all about?"  She asked incredulously, nodding in their direction.  "Whatever it's about, it's really none of our business, she just needs to stay Out of your face."  I replied.  "Agreed."  She said, eyes steadily fixed...

Mel held her composure amazingly well, considering the fact that she had been lowkey stalked for the remainder of the time were there.  My patience was dwindling-that consignment shop was calling my name.  After around 45 minutes of carefully scanning the vintage luxury inventory , I had made my choices, and was on my way back to Richmond.  I suddenly felt and unshakable desire to be Home.  I needed to decompress; I needed to be with Landon..."Yo!😁"  I said enthusiastically upon hearing Landon's voice on the other line.  "What's up lightskin, WYA?  WYD?"  He replied.  "I'm on my way back to the block, I just left Melanie and Hope at Drew's gym opening."  "Oh yea?  That sounds ominous and dramatic; not your normal scene, I'm surprised you went to that."  Landon said.  "You know me too well, it's definitely not.  I wasn't given a choice, I was there as a potential buffer."  I said flatly.  "You know they still Love each other, right?  That's why this shit is an ongoing fight.  It's never going to end.  If they would just admit how they feel about each other, stop pulling innocent victims into their bullshit as pawns in their game, and actually build something real, then they could be alright."  He stated, very matter-of-factly.  I started to say something in response, but he was actually spot on.  It's amazing how much clarity one can gain on the foolery going on in other people's lives when you're brave enough to address and deal with your own shit.  That way, when you speak on a particular subject, your opinion can actually hold weight-a stark contrast from arranging words in the right order to sound intelligent...  

"I miss you."  I said, out of nowhere.  "I needed to hear your voice to remind me of what really matters.  You keep me grounded.  Spending the day in their fraudulent energy left me feeling some type of way.  It gets harder and harder to simply go through the motions.  We literally spent an hour on the phone just last night, talking her out of something specifically designed to fuck with him.  I know it's her life, her decisions, and she's the one left to deal with the aftermath.  I just wish I knew how to not get so frustrated when she makes the irrational choice.  In their minds, everything from the outside seems to be a factor; in all actuality, the only thing that matters, is Melanie and Drew.  Shit, Hope isn't even a factor in any of this.  I mean, at this point, if you're not going to be honest, then just cut your loses and keep pretending to be happy with their current situations."  "Well damn, why not tell us how you really feel Avri!"  Landon said laughing.  "See!  that's exactly what I mean!  I always get all worked up when I talk about this-Drew has been and unrelenting topic of her conversation for the last few weeks.  It's like she can smell blood in the water when it comes to females in the picture!"  I exclaimed.  "You get worked up because you Love your friend.  The Love you have for her makes you want the absolute best for her, even when she doesn't necessarily want it for herself; or at least based off what her actions are telling us.  You want her to be able to live authentically, and own how she feels.  Then maybe, just maybe, they can both finally be happy in a relationship that was meant specifically for the two of them.  Think about how many people they have brought into this situation out of sheer spite.  Neither one of them ever had any intentions of building anything that meant something.  They both got involved with other people with the explicit purpose of hurting each other...

Shit, these MFs they dealing with now don't even understand they on borrowed time.  As soon as they have served their purpose, Melanie and Drew will move on.  Leaving emotional devastation all over the place.  Don't ever feel bad for telling your friend the truth.  MFs love to confuse truth with 'their truth', which is just their version of the facts; a personal interpretation.  We live in a society that is hyper-sensitized, and people don't want to deal with anything that brings their truth into question, or challenges it in any way.  MFs is walking around delusional; existing in a reality of their own making; completely detached from what is really going on.  Don't ever apologize for not being one of those people not willing to view life through that distorted perspective."  All I could do was smile.   "Hello?!  I know damn well this call didn't drop right in the middle of me being profound!"  Landon said.  "See, that's why I Love You!"  I screamed.  "That's exactly why I needed You.  You are my Person, through and through, with a heart just like mine.  If there's ever something going on in my head that I can't quite reconcile with, there you are; the Avri Whisperer; knowing all my inner workings, and just what to say to get me right.  Thank you for taking up residence inside me, and staying there.  Thank you for knowing that this, will ALWAYS be.  Most importantly, Thank you for truly loving me DOWN; right to my DNA.  You give me precisely what I need every time.  I'm crazy about you in all the best ways, and I can't wait to see how we grow next."  "Awww, the feeling is mutual baby; my pleasure." Landon replied; his voice full of sincerity and a smile... 

OK Landon!  Keep talking your shit; those the type of words that get you Head everyday for LIFE!!!  I couldn't get back to Richmond fast enough...Jasmine boldly leading the way...                         

 

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