Everyday Superstar: Avri James

              Sometimes, it's as if my intuition can sense Landon, long before my mind knows what's happening...I don't really know how to explain it, but it's like everything perfectly syncs around me whenever he is close.  Take for instance the phone conversation with Adonis this morning; ALL my fault.  Here I was, lying on the floor, staring at my ceiling, trying to figure out how Adonis had arrived at the conclusion that he should "confront" Landon about his feelings for me.  I replayed the entire conversation over in my mind...I guess I could have done a better job at de-escalating, but, like I said, something inside me inevitably knows when he's near, and I inadvertently transform.  Some slick shit slips out before I even realize it.  Regardless of how precisely you express your non-feelings for someone, it still hurts when the desires of your heart are not reciprocated. I took an especially long time getting dressed for ...

              Being of two minds is no way to live...Still mostly wrapped up in the dream I just stepped out of, I answered the phone.  Already indifferent, because I knew who it was, and it WASN'T who I wanted it to be.  That dream had given me life; confirmation of something I have known since as long as I could remember.  Now that it had been fully realized, I was no longer beat for anything (or ANYONE!) that wasn't going to get me there.  I had been especially careful the entire time I had been dating Adonis to keep any and all emotional attachment at bay in an attempt to avoid making him a Casualty of War.  He, on the other hand, was doing everything in his power to show me he deserved a real shot.  It's definitely a noble pursuit, but also a frivolous one.  The way I loved Landon transcended all of space and time, and would be EXACTLY the same in ANY lifetime.  No matter WHO, or WHAT, or WHEN, it would ALWA...

                          Do you know what it's like to wake up from a dream that felt more real than anything in conscious life?  That's exactly how I had been feeling lately.  The past few months have passed by in fog; like I haven't really been here.  I mean, I totally know what's happening, I'm even engaging; but for some reason, none of it seemed tangible.  Sometimes I feel like all of my energy is being utilized to force myself to remain present.  It's a constant; from one second to the next; work to maintain this version of life that I am quickly losing all interest in maintaining.  I couldn't get the dream out of my mind; even while I was having my moment.   I suddenly realized just how necessary the bullshit of the past few months had been in me coming full circle.  But anyway, I digress; down the rabbit hole we go to decipher yet another layer of Avri... My dream began...

                      I remember writing this poem when I was 13 years old called, "The Quiet Storm".  It was about how being alone in the dark felt like drowning.  I vividly described how the water was slow, creeping, menacing.  That's the most accurate description of how the situation between Landon and I works, and how it wreaks emotional havoc.  As long as there is no contact, I can emotionally function normally for the most part.  It's like I get to a point before there was a he and I, and I'm good with that.  I don't really miss him, I rarely think of him, and I'm happy.  We don't need to speak or see each other; its OK to have completely separate lives.  The rub when it comes to encountering your twin flame is that separation is only an illusion...at some point, you are always thrown back together, shattering the entire spectacle. That night after Landon left my dorm, I went to the part...

             Do you know that feeling you get when you buy EXACTLY what you want and get to wear it for the 1st time?  That's the best way to describe what I have been feeling since my trip to the mountains.  I couldn't have had a better time!  It was everything I could have hoped for.  I had plenty of time for me; able to catch up on my reading and writing.  I had the chance to hang out with my best friend, walk/hike, AND even had the chance to work a date in! lol  It's the kind of trip you hate to come back from, because you know your real life is right there waiting at your front door; awaiting your arrival.  Oh well, no time like the present to put the old shit aside, and focus on the new... A new semester meant a fresh course load and a laundry list of new activities that kick off in the Spring.  I found myself in the Student Union; staring at the marquee where all the latest meeting schedules were listed....

              After our morning walk, we both agreed to spend the day with our respective housemates; I think we both wanted a little time with individual best friends to discuss the past few days' events.  Katrina didn't usually rise until after 10, so I had plenty of time to decompress.  The more I thought about it, I started to feel like I DIDN'T want to talk about what was happening between Adonis and I; I just wanted to keep it for myself as long as possible.  The more people who knew seemed to somehow diminish how special it was.  Right now, it was JUST US.  I wanted that feeling to last.  A few minutes later, a half-sleep Katrina appeared in my doorway.  She immediately re-located to my bed... "I hope you grow out of this 'rise and  shine' foolishness; especially for vacation!" Katrina said, face buried in one of my pillows.  "Well, there's someone around who shares your affinity for ungodly hours; I ...

              One of the things I get the most comments on when it comes to Avri James and Landon is about the Twin Flame Connection, what are my thoughts on it, and most importantly, do I believe in it.  Most of you guys out there want to know whether or not I consider what Avri and Landon have a TFC, and WHEN would it come into play in their story...Ask and ye shall receive!  By request, an anecdote from Avri and Landon that addresses just that; I hope it provides the strength needed to hold out for it ALL... There was ONE time, when I could no longer deny the TFC; and I knew for sure it was real...I lived out of state for a while and had been seeing someone else.  Landon and I hadn't seen each other for a time, and had been living separate lives.  I had been coming and going, but ours paths just never seemed to cross.  One day, my family attended this baby shower.  I chose not to, as I didn't know the intended at all....