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Breakups 2 Makeups



So what happens when two of the most stubborn people on the planet end up in the same relationship?  A endless stalemate; that's what!  There is no such thing as the "bigger person", we were both too huge.  It had been days; they each seemed to stretch on like years since we weren't speaking.  The standoff between Landon and I was silently defiant, but more effective than anything I had ever experienced.  As desperately as I wanted it all to end, I just couldn't bring myself to be the one to do it...

So many questions were swirling around in my head; I mean, after all, I had never actually TOLD Landon anything, I just let go.  Who was to say that he even cared that I was gone?  If this could be wrong, then was everything else between us too?  Should I even still feel this way?  Was it worth it?  Most importantly, Could he still FEEL me?  With there being more questions than answers, the Universe and I were in perfect agreement that the best thing to do was absolutely nothing.  My heart kept saying all her usual, telling me not to allow my stubborn nature to get the best of me.  My mind would then add it's two cents, reminding me not to be overly emotional; only apologize when you have done something wrong.  The change was so rapid, I felt like I had.  Like I had committed some invisible offense that was an ultimate deal breaker.  All I knew is that I felt like neither my head nor my heart had my back in this situation...

A full day of emotional craziness later, I found myself unwillingly sitting on the porch or Richmond.  While writing, I had been feeling a sort of strange energy for the past few hours...very restless in fact; like I was being pulled in SOME direction, I just didn't know where.  I just knew I wasn't supposed to be IN the house.  It was so dreary outside, this undeniable need to be somewhere other than indoors was proving it be irrational, which is why my journey ended at my front steps.  I was feeling all types of crazy, till I suddenly realized the energy was not my own...

There were random thoughts strung together by a common theme; sudden outbursts of emotion, spurts of physical innuendos, and finally, overwhelming remorse.  I couldn't shake the fact that I really wasn't feeling any of those things at the moment; so who was?!  "Universe, what is going on, and why am I out of my house on a day like this?"  I thought to myself, completely fed up at this point.  I sat there a little while longer, more confused than anything, just waiting on the feeling to pass.  Once I got to the point to where I felt somewhat normal, I started gathering up my pens and journals to head inside.  Hands full, I had to make a second trip to grab my pillow.  As I came back out the door, sitting at the curb parked directly out front my door was Landon...

Being as though I had played this moment over and over in my mind over the past several days. for it to actually be happening is more than surreal.  I couldn't say anything; I just stood there; frozen.  As if reading my mind, he asked, "I need to know something, just yes or no, and depending on how you answer, I promise not to bother you anymore after that."  I heard myself say "OK", even though I have no actual recollection of forming those words.  I stood there, arms folded, awaiting what felt like sentencing.  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he asked, "Do you still belong to me?!"  The look of pure shock on my face was unmistakable.  I was screaming "YESS!!" from the inside out, but when the words finally reached my mouth, what I heard come out was, "You tell me."  "Damn bitch, that was smooth!"  I was quietly proud not to had shown my level of excitement.  I stood there, waiting on the response.  Landon replied, "that's one question you will ALWAYS know the answer to".  All of those swirling questions left as quickly as they had appeared; each being answered with that one statement...

Any pretenses of strength were lost in those moments on both sides.  At long last, the Universe was back on our side.  The huge divide between us disappeared, and once again, the rest of the world melted away.  We stood a while longer, face to face in silence.  It was an Avri James kinda world again, and I wasn't going to do ANYTHING to ruin it!!  If we were to never discuss a single second of that time we were apart ever again, it would still be too soon for me...  

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