I didn't sleep a wink that night. I laid awake, replaying our kiss in my head. We parted ways without addressing his statement. There wasn't really a need to. There was soo much more justice in that silence than talking could ever give. I knew, eventually, a conversation WOULD be had...but for now, our kiss was enough for the both of us. I was too elated by the fact that someone else had kissed me, and I actually FELT something. I was much too preoccupied to worry about trifles. We still had 48 hours left, and I planned on spending them ensuring last night wasn't a dream. Even though I had decided to date Adonis, I wasn't entirely sure what that meant. In any case, I had chosen to entertain it; that I knew for sure. The sun began to kiss the sky just after 5:30 am, and I could no longer sit still; I ad to get up. Yoga and tea were calling my name; it was time to start my day. I crept passed Katrina's door as quietly as possible, out into the living room. The stillness of the morning has always been my fascination with rising so early. It's a new beginning; a fresh start. I opened the blinds to see what the new day had to offer. There was a bistro table with two chairs outside our window; it was the perfect spot for tea. I grabbed my mug and my blanket, and headed for the porch. Just as I was about to settle into one of the seats, I saw a small piece of paper, folded and taped; sitting in the chair. Curios er and Curios er...
I sat down and unfolded the note in my lap. I immediately recognized the writing; it was from Adonis. I smiled. It didn't even matter what it said; the fact that we were both thinking about one another, perhaps simultaneously; maybe the universe was smiling at me after all...
"I couldn't sleep, and so I thought about the time you told me that it meant something was on my mind; so I should get up, and write it down. I also thought about your fondness for words, and figured this would be the best way to make a lasting impression. I really had a great time with you while we were here. I felt like I was someplace, which is pretty much the norm anytime I'm around you. I don't want to complicate things, or push you further than you are ready to go; I just want my OWN spot in your life. At some point, I want to belong to you; you make me make sense."
I was still trying take in the fact that he had written me...it was sweet; a really thoughtful way to reach me. Even though I had absolutely NO interest in anyone "belonging" to me anytime soon, it was refreshing for a man to want to belong to ME for a change. A written response would prove difficult, because I had to be precarious; I didn't want to play any unnecessary games. I wanted him to know that I had a great time with him too, and looked forward to spending more time with him; most importantly, that kissing him was NOT a mistake. For the 1st time in forever, I hadn't thought of Landon at all. I really wanted this trip to be about us; Adonis's patience was amazing; and drawing me closer. I wished in that moment that I could just tell him that he was doing everything right...no, I wasn't ready to make any promises, but I was willing to let him try...I actually wanted him to. WOW; I dealt with that fairly quickly; and all before 6 am! By this time my tea had cooled to the point where it was drinkable. I was ready for Morning Yoga-and to provide Adonis with a response...
The North Carolina morning was cool and comfortable...our deck to the cottage was private, completely discreet, and hidden from public view. I decided to stay outdoors for the morning routine. After about 20 minutes of meditation, I got into position to "thread the needle". As I was coming up into "downward dog", I peered through my legs, and saw someone coming up the walkway , just past the hydrangea bushes. I came out of the position and sat up on my knees; it was Adonis, dressed in his dri-fit to go running. He was also wearing a full smile, standing there, looking down at me for a few moments before either one of us spoke. "Well Good Morning!" I finally said, enthusiastically. He was suddenly back; asking how far I was into my morning routine. "I know you hate running, but I figured you would be done with yoga about the time I get back from my run. Maybe we could go for a walk when I get back for the cool down?!" He asked. I happily agreed; mostly relieved he hadn't brought up the note-there had been no time for a response! HE remained for a few moments more, as if half expecting me to finish as he stood there. "Ok, well, I'll be here and ready, but you have to GO, so we can both finish!" He stood there, a little longer, as if somewhere deep in thought; he finally said, "standing here contemplating the limits of your flexibility is far more interesting a task in this moment than going for a run!" "GO!!" I said, pushing him backwards down the path. It was wayy tooo soon to be put into any compromising positions just yet-morning yoga is kind of a BEAST!! I watched him jog down the path; as his back disappeared, I lowered my head back down to my mat between my outstretched palms...
I wanted to finish at least a few minutes early so I had a chance to get decent before facing the world at this ungodly hour! A five minute shower and fresh sweats wouldn't be too hard to squeeze in! It was refreshing to be excited over something so simple. More than anything, it was really nice that it was so important to him to spend time with me; he seemed to actually CRAVE it. Once leaving North Carolina, I wouldn't necessarily have as much of an opportunity to provide my undivided attention; but we were here NOW, and I wasn't going to lose sight of that. I decided not to respond to the note until later on. I would leave it in the same spot where I found mine, after I went in for the night. I was here to focus on RIGHT NOW...
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