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Sanctuary

 


Reality is a state of mind.  If there is some other version of it you prefer to exist in, it is your purpose in life to go for it.   After all, whose job is it to be in pursuit of YOUR happiness?!  You are the creator in the ultimate design of your life.  Sooo, what was on my agenda for today?!  Surrender...to the truth of what I felt, and admitting to myself that there was no level of ordinary that Landon and I would ever be comfortable with; we were SENSATIONAL.  The parts of Landon that are my absolute favorite are those that belong to only me.  They aren't very obvious, and you have to really know him to even know it's there...but I swear, they are the BEST parts.  It ultimately makes all of the emotional chaos between us make sense.  When things are JUST right, we resonated at a frequency that existed outside of everything else.  It made us untouchable.  I could not WAIT for our trip.  We were in desperate need of a reset.  The closer it got to the day, the more excited I  became.  It didn't even  matter where we were going or what we did.  We could be somewhere with thousands of people, and it would still feel like we were the only ones there.  I was ready for us to ascend above the everyday, and for us to finally finish what we started...our elevated state of BEING.  It was time to rise above the stratosphere, above any trivial preconceived notions about what a relationship was and actually BE who we are; Avri and Landon.  All of the talking about what it would be like needed to cease; it was time to BE...

I had decided to go home to Richmond for a day or so before our trip to hang out with my family.  I hadn't seen them in a while, and since I was about to be MIA for about 4 days, I could ensure our peace in pulling a drive by!  Landon was fine with the quick detour, it gave him the opportunity to stop by some of his favorite stores.  Being home was nice.  I love all the smells and how little things change.  With everything around me seemingly in constant flux, it's comforting the familiar has been able to remain the same.   I was laying on my bed one morning, staring out the window at nothing in particular when my phone rang.  It was Adonis.  I don't know what it is about outsiders, it's like they have a 6th sense about when to invade your space.   There are 2 scenarios in particular that they seem to preference as the right time  to fuck with you: 1.  When you are emotionally exhausted and fed up-pretty much willing to agree to anything to forget about your prior situation. AND 2. When everything in your life is on the brink of clicking into place.  This phone call, was definitely associated with the latter.  I immediately sat up, gaining as much composure as I could to answer the phone without  sounding flustered.  I took a deep breath, and picked up.  "Hello?!"  I answered completely calm, my voice held no inflection.  "Well hello there Ms. James, where have you been?!"  Adonis asked cheerfully.  I relaxed a little, letting the stress leave my shoulders.  "Well, at the moment, I'm home, but I haven't even been here 24 hours yet!  You were looking for me?!  Why?!"  I asked incredulously.  "I'm just keeping tabs on you; checking in, seeing how things are working out for you in that so-called relationship of yours!"  Damn!  He wasted NO time!  My response MUST  be just as swift-I might draw blood!  Before I did, he added, "I MEANT what I  said Avri, you WILL BE MINE; I'm just buying my time, waiting for Landon to Fuck it up bad enough-and he will.  Dudes like that ALWAYS do.  They never understand what they have, so they have no idea what to do to hold onto it."  I was COOKING by this point!  How dare he?!  Haven't we already been down this road?!  Had I not made it perfectly clear what Landon meant to me?!  Yes.  Yes I had.  So why was I so  angry?!  Was it possible that some part of me believed what he was saying to be true?!   As my blood boiled, and things around me started too go red, I heard Landon's voice in my head saying, "You know we aren't like everybody else, right?!  Only WE understand us, and that's ALL that matters..."  Instant calm came over me.  I was READY.  "Well, he must  be doing something right then.  You gotta be up pretty high for people to  be praying for your downfall.  Look, I can't tell you how to feel, you are perfectly entitled to waste your own time!"  I hung up.  I laid back down across my bed, and let my mind wonder; daydreaming about our trip.

It was 10 am Wednesday morning, and we were ready to roll.  I was soo excited I had been up since 6.  It was the first time we would be completely alone for several days.  I kept peeking through the blinds out the window, anticipating his arrival.  He called, saying he was coming down the block; I FLEW down the stairs.  I don't recall my feet touching a single step.  Upon getting to the door, I began to struggle with my bag.  I became so frustrated, I almost left it!  Landon watched the entire scene for a moment, then stepped out the car to help me.  That helped to calm me down.  Seeing his bright, clear smile, knowing he was genuinely happy to be with me, brought me back to the current moment and what was about to happen.  In his hands were my favorite flowers.  We kissed, and entered the bat mobile to embark on our trip.  I eased into my seat, and we were fully engaged in a conversation about everything and nothing at all in no time.  I suddenly remembered the very brief conversation I had yesterday with Adonis.  I wasted no time telling Landon what happened.  He laughed; not the least bit concerned.  Before I knew it, we were tightly sealed inside OUR bubble; absolutely NO ONE was getting in...

The trip was everything I imagined, and then some....we were INSIDE.  We didn't need a whole bunch of unnecessary words; we could FEEL each other's emotions.  We were perfectly safe to be truly, madly, deeply in Love.  It was our only concern.  Every second was special.  At certain times, I swear the connection was strong enough for levitation to commence!  Our magic was at its strongest in those moments, and absolutely NOTHING was getting in to taint it.  Our physical connection was undeniably irresistible, which could account for why our trips out of our suite were so few and far between.  I can't  recall seeing another singular face the entire time; everybody just blurred together.  If it were possible for us to have stayed just like that, we would have.  What I was feeling was more than Love, it was the coming together of the only two objects in the entire universe vibrating at the identical frequency finding one another; this was SYNCHRONICITY.  We were having our truest human experience.  THIS- is why we are here.  To maintain this feeling, and for us to feel this every second of everyday, was our natural state of being.  THIS was who we truly were.  THIS is how we function.  I was LITT!!!  I was not afraid of what I felt.   I was ready to give him my all.  There was no going back, if we were to grow, and fully come into our fantastic, THIS was where we needed to be.  There was no room for apprehension.  We had to let go of the familiarity that fear afforded us, and venture into the unknown.  Sometimes you have to let go of the good to get to the GREAT...It was time to be ALL IN...

The feeling was mutual-we  did not want to go back!  It felt so good to check out of our lives for a little while.  Something was different though; we were DETERMINED to keep our bubble in tact.  The reality we were returning to would be one of our own design, and were willing to do whatever was necessary to maintain it.  This was OUR  peace, and we planned on  keeping it just like that.  We prolonged our return as long as possible; making multiple stops, just enjoying each other's company.  I loved how easy Landon was right then.  He wasn't in any particular hurry; fully engaged in our conversations, and reminiscing about days past.  All I needed for the rest of my life was to hear Landon talk to me.  The sound of his voice has ALWAYS had a profound effect on me.  The was it made me feel was indescribable.  It held the power to make my whole world right instantaneously, regardless of the issue.  I didn't want to say another word.  I sat quietly listening; taking in each sound as the road behind us expanded, and the road not yet traveled propelled us back toward our lives...~The Queen

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