Skip to main content


There was an inexplicable calm that settled over my entire life.  It came quietly and peacefully; setting up residence completely undetected.   All I knew is that I looked up one day,  and everything seemed to be going my way.  I had finally surrendered to  the power of the Universe, and allowed my will to be translated into real life.  The night I talked myself off a ledge of discontent would be the very last time I stood at that precipice.  I left all my reservations there, and chose at long last to trust myself and the choices that I make are all working together to achieve my highest good.  I learned that  I couldn't possibly have the faith I needed in myself OR the Universe for that matter if my decisions were rittled with so much doubt.  I needed to LET GO, and embrace the process of becoming.  I was ready to transition past this place...and so I did.  No, every moment has not been absolutely perfect, but I've had enough of those moments to know that I was NEVER going back there!  My new mission in life was now to preserve my peace and happiness at all costs.  My "no prisoners" approach to life had even translated to Landon and I...

All that pressure and things unsaid that seemed to linger suddenly dissipated.  We eased back into our beautiful synchronicity without even knowing it; this was perhaps my favorite aspect of the TF connection.  We never needed to DO; we just HAPPEN.   It's amazing what can develop when you get focused and wrap your mind around what it is you really want.  We just flowed.  There was a level of comfort between us that was unsurpassed and felt SOO  natural..its where we should have been all along.  The feeling of needing to literally be under his skin was fading as well.  When you are able to truly be yourself, and be loved for  being THAT individual, is a power nothing can touch.  For the first time, in a long time, I felt love and happiness emanating from every part  of me.  I was once again remembering what it felt like to TRULY engage.  I was no longer living and operating from this place of self observation, I was HERE.

I wanted to do it ALL.  Any and everything I could think of to make me smile-it was all at my disposal.  I was able to write at an  almost automatic rate; my creativity just flowed.  What they say is true; there's no real joy you can  provide to another that doesn't come from a place of real joy within yourself.  There's no way around it; your own happiness MUST come first.  It's the key to everything.  So simple, and yet, it's always our last resort...I had already wasted plenty of time fighting the inevitable.  There was so much to do and experience.  It turns out my own magic was pretty amazing in and of itself.  If I did something that truly made me happy, my elation could not be contained.  Landon definitely noticed the change.  Expressing myself was no longer an issue.  In fact, I found I actually had to STOP myself.  I didn't care if he knew how excited I was to be with him.  I WANTED him to know.  This energy was too spectacular not to share.  Everything felt new, and it was all for us.  I just couldn't believe it.  This was HAPPENING!  I had wanted Landon and I to spend some time alone for a little while now, and it finally seemed like the perfect opportunity to present the idea to him.  One thing I knew for certain was that Landon had "old man" tendencies when it came to certain things-one of which was traveling.  He just really wasn't interested.  Getting him to venture too far from Richmond for an extended period of time was just not happening.  It was going to take a whole lot of that Avri charm, and a little bit of bribery to get him to agree; but I already had a plan in the works...

We were in Landon's room watching a man movie; you know, the kind where the only signs of femininity is supplied by an androgynous female cast member.  The seemingly non stop emission of bullets and various explosions provided the ideal distraction, allowing me every spare second to execute my plan.  Landon was so engrossed, he really didn't notice I was someplace else for quite some time.  It wasn't until he suddenly broke the silence that I was fully brought back to the present moment.  "What's on your mind?!"  Landon asked.  Since I had zero reservations, I immediately responded, putting phase 1 into action.  The most effective way to approach Landon with something he's not fond of  is to get all of the most uncomfortable information about whatever it is out of the was up front; that way, it's a lot less painful for him as the conversation proceeds!  "OK listen," I began.  "I was thinking, it's time we took a trip, just me and you-away from the everyday...just 2, 3 days or so."  Landon furrowed his brow.  I quickly continued before he could object, "We started over, so it's only right we get a little brand new; let's go shopping, buying everything we need for the trip and just leave straight from there.  It will be like our own little private adventure."  Landon parted his lips to say something, I began again, "...the best part is it's all my treat!"  I flashed my most spectacular smile...

His eyes lit up, and whatever it was he was going to say seemingly escaped his mind.  He smiled, pretended to begrudgingly agree, and settled back down to finish the movie.  He was noticeably pleased by the turn of events, and even stopped the movie a few times to ask an occasional question about what and where we were going.  He was obviously excited by the prospect of retail therapy no doubt!  Well, that was painless!   Now to figure out exactly where we were going...       


Popular posts from this blog

Flash Forward: The Twin Flame Connection

              One of the things I get the most comments on when it comes to Avri James and Landon is about the Twin Flame Connection, what are my thoughts on it, and most importantly, do I believe in it.  Most of you guys out there want to know whether or not I consider what Avri and Landon have a TFC, and WHEN would it come into play in their story...Ask and ye shall receive!  By request, an anecdote from Avri and Landon that addresses just that; I hope it provides the strength needed to hold out for it ALL... There was ONE time, when I could no longer deny the TFC; and I knew for sure it was real...I lived out of state for a while and had been seeing someone else.  Landon and I hadn't seen each other for a time, and had been living separate lives.  I had been coming and going, but ours paths just never seemed to cross.  One day, my family attended this baby shower.  I chose not to, as I didn't know the intended at all.  After it was over, my aunt stopped by, giving me a rundo

Great Expectations

              I couldn't believe it; it was FINALLY here!!  This trip had been at the forefront of all my thoughts for the past few weeks-now that it was actually time to leave it all felt surreal.  It honestly felt a little strange to be this excited about going on a trip I had originally planned and discussed so many times before with Landon.  In all actuality, I never thought I would get the chance to go.  I just figured the Universe would open up and swallow me, and I would never make it!  The strangest part of all though, was that it didn't even bother me, which caused me to feel slightly uneasy, just for a few moments; old habits die hard.  For once, I felt like I was doing something for ME.  My greatest desire for the whole thing was to find out what parts of Avri still remained; to remember who the fuck I was.  I had felt so lost and disconnected lately- an Avri identity crisis, if you will... See, that's the part I find the hardest to wrap my mind around; how impor


  "...So many things I'm going through, So much that I wanna do~It's starting to become so clear to me, tomorrow ain't really guaranteed~So many days I've thought of you, it's about time you knew the truth~Gotta act quickly you and I, to fall in Love so many reasons why..." I could feel the sun slipping through the downturned slats of my wooden blinds.  It crept slowly across the floor; climbing my bedspread, and finally kissing my fingers before I opened my eyes.  I smiled, thanked the Universe for Life, and rolled over, feeling around for my book.  I hadn't fully decided if I was quite ready to get up yet.  Still in mid-thought, the sound of chimes began to softly ascend; it was my phone reminding me of the day I had ahead of me.  Whelp, decision made.  I'm up.  I didn't mind too much though; today had the potential to be dope.  I love the Summer.  It's the way the air smells; IDK, it does something to me...Melanie and I had a whole day l