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Serenity



There was an inexplicable calm that settled over my entire life.  It came quietly and peacefully; setting up residence completely undetected.   All I knew is that I looked up one day,  and everything seemed to be going my way.  I had finally surrendered to  the power of the Universe, and allowed my will to be translated into real life.  The night I talked myself off a ledge of discontent would be the very last time I stood at that precipice.  I left all my reservations there, and chose at long last to trust myself and the choices that I make are all working together to achieve my highest good.  I learned that  I couldn't possibly have the faith I needed in myself OR the Universe for that matter if my decisions were rittled with so much doubt.  I needed to LET GO, and embrace the process of becoming.  I was ready to transition past this place...and so I did.  No, every moment has not been absolutely perfect, but I've had enough of those moments to know that I was NEVER going back there!  My new mission in life was now to preserve my peace and happiness at all costs.  My "no prisoners" approach to life had even translated to Landon and I...

All that pressure and things unsaid that seemed to linger suddenly dissipated.  We eased back into our beautiful synchronicity without even knowing it; this was perhaps my favorite aspect of the TF connection.  We never needed to DO; we just HAPPEN.   It's amazing what can develop when you get focused and wrap your mind around what it is you really want.  We just flowed.  There was a level of comfort between us that was unsurpassed and felt SOO  natural..its where we should have been all along.  The feeling of needing to literally be under his skin was fading as well.  When you are able to truly be yourself, and be loved for  being THAT individual, is a power nothing can touch.  For the first time, in a long time, I felt love and happiness emanating from every part  of me.  I was once again remembering what it felt like to TRULY engage.  I was no longer living and operating from this place of self observation, I was HERE.

I wanted to do it ALL.  Any and everything I could think of to make me smile-it was all at my disposal.  I was able to write at an  almost automatic rate; my creativity just flowed.  What they say is true; there's no real joy you can  provide to another that doesn't come from a place of real joy within yourself.  There's no way around it; your own happiness MUST come first.  It's the key to everything.  So simple, and yet, it's always our last resort...I had already wasted plenty of time fighting the inevitable.  There was so much to do and experience.  It turns out my own magic was pretty amazing in and of itself.  If I did something that truly made me happy, my elation could not be contained.  Landon definitely noticed the change.  Expressing myself was no longer an issue.  In fact, I found I actually had to STOP myself.  I didn't care if he knew how excited I was to be with him.  I WANTED him to know.  This energy was too spectacular not to share.  Everything felt new, and it was all for us.  I just couldn't believe it.  This was HAPPENING!  I had wanted Landon and I to spend some time alone for a little while now, and it finally seemed like the perfect opportunity to present the idea to him.  One thing I knew for certain was that Landon had "old man" tendencies when it came to certain things-one of which was traveling.  He just really wasn't interested.  Getting him to venture too far from Richmond for an extended period of time was just not happening.  It was going to take a whole lot of that Avri charm, and a little bit of bribery to get him to agree; but I already had a plan in the works...

We were in Landon's room watching a man movie; you know, the kind where the only signs of femininity is supplied by an androgynous female cast member.  The seemingly non stop emission of bullets and various explosions provided the ideal distraction, allowing me every spare second to execute my plan.  Landon was so engrossed, he really didn't notice I was someplace else for quite some time.  It wasn't until he suddenly broke the silence that I was fully brought back to the present moment.  "What's on your mind?!"  Landon asked.  Since I had zero reservations, I immediately responded, putting phase 1 into action.  The most effective way to approach Landon with something he's not fond of  is to get all of the most uncomfortable information about whatever it is out of the was up front; that way, it's a lot less painful for him as the conversation proceeds!  "OK listen," I began.  "I was thinking, it's time we took a trip, just me and you-away from the everyday...just 2, 3 days or so."  Landon furrowed his brow.  I quickly continued before he could object, "We started over, so it's only right we get a little brand new; let's go shopping, buying everything we need for the trip and just leave straight from there.  It will be like our own little private adventure."  Landon parted his lips to say something, I began again, "...the best part is it's all my treat!"  I flashed my most spectacular smile...

His eyes lit up, and whatever it was he was going to say seemingly escaped his mind.  He smiled, pretended to begrudgingly agree, and settled back down to finish the movie.  He was noticeably pleased by the turn of events, and even stopped the movie a few times to ask an occasional question about what and where we were going.  He was obviously excited by the prospect of retail therapy no doubt!  Well, that was painless!   Now to figure out exactly where we were going...       
 

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