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"Distortion"


So Ya'll know I just be minding my Avri business, Right?!  I don't bother anyone...I just move throughout my day; wrapped up in my own little flow...trying my hardest not to allow the actions of others to affect me...Yesterday was one of the very same; nothing too much out of the ordinary.  It was pouring rain, but I was safely nestled inside. Wrapped in my coziest sweater, I was awaiting my virtual team meeting to start.  As a flash of lightning ripped across the evening sky, I silently thanked the Universe for modern technology.  Within the next few minutes, my fellow staff members tickled into the virtual conference room.  Amarrah came in first, on two different devices at once; causing an avalanche of feedback and echoes.😂  Next was Ginger, then Naomi, followed by Tatiana, last and finally, Ms. Aubreigh graced us with her presence.  The meeting could now commence...

There was nothing particularly different about this particular meeting; since we really hadn't seen one another since the holidays, we took a few minutes to catch up and set intentions for the new year.  We were fully engaged in a discussion about inventory, and an influx of thousands of wicks to soon ascend on the candle bar when I heard a soft knock at the door.  Because I was mid-sentence, I didn't respond, "----Um, I think we should break them down by the hundred, and separate them into baggies.  I utilized those in my kit, and each bag comfortably fits 100 wicks."  Whoever it was could clearly tell from my style of speech that I was obviously otherwise engaged.  HE or she could enter, and quickly depart.  Seconds later, my bedroom door creped open.  I instinctually threw up one hand; to indicate I wasn't able to address whatever was about to come through the door at that current moment.  HOWEVER, the what, on the other side of that door, would have NEVER been fathomed...not even in my wildest dreams...

The tall, lanky, figure that stepped through my slightly open door frame was one I hadn't seen in YEARS.  Just like that, I was 15 years old again; and a familiar panic began to settle in.  It was Tyris, a guy I had a seriously tumultuous situation with throughout my younger teenage years.  It wasn't until I became an adult did I realize just how insane the entire thing was.  I was literally stalked--during a time, might I add, where that was a rather impressive feat because this was long before everyone had phones.  My life on Richmond, and anywhere within its general vicinity--was very difficult.  To the point where I really couldn't have any other relationships or acquaintances publicly.  If I was to have any semblance of a social life, it would have to be completely private, and done far away from any place he had the potentiality or resources to pop up at.  It was an existence of sheer insanity; that was until Landon.  Its's funny too, one of the reasons I was so apprehensive about dealing with Landon in the beginning was because of Tyris...

I remember the first time I confided in Landon about my concerns.  I was fully preparing myself for the fact that he may take the same approach as the brave souls who came before him and decide that I really wasn't worth all the bullshit that Tyris brought.  Needless to say, he didn't.  As a matter of fact, Landon was completely unbothered.  He just shrugged and said, "I'm not worried about Tyris.  If he comes around, We'll deal with it."  He then added a caveat, that would essentially change the lens I viewed Landon through from that moment on...It's that particular moment that I now found myself within; for the Second time in my life...

Hopefully the look of pure astonishment was boldly displayed across my face.  Goddess knows I was in complete shock; no words would come.  I stared directly at him in silence--now fully aware of the still on-going meeting in front of me.  I quickly muted the conversation and popped my in camera photo on screen.  "What are you doing here?  What's the matter?  Is everything OK?  Are YOU OK?!"  I finally managed to blurt out.  "Me?!"  Tyris replied, "I'm good, I came to talk to you."  You've got to be fucking kidding me right now..."Look Tyris, I'm working right now, if this is not a medical emergency, or a real life-threatening situation, then I need to get back to what it is I'm doing.  You'll have to talk to me some other time."  I shooed him away with my hand, and he disappeared as quickly as he came.  I took 30 seconds to regain my composure before rejoining the call.  About 10 minutes later, as the meeting was wrapping up, my door opened again...this time without a knock...

"You know we cousins, right?!"  Tyris said hurriedly.  "Sure, yes I know, we're family."  I responded.  "Our fathers are brothers."  He continued on, without acknowledging my statement.  "Do you remember the 1st time we laid eyes on each other?"  "To be honest, no, I don't remember."  I responded in an exasperated voice.  "Well, it was magic.  But all you need to know right now, is that I'm still 'that dude'..."  I suddenly realized that his babbling wasn't entirely incoherent.  Tyris continued, "You chose the wrong one, that's supposed to be me."  OMG, this MFR has lost his mind at long last...he was talking about Landon!  The caveat I alluded to from all those years earlier from Landon was precisely that; he and Tyris were related--1st cousins at that.  There had been ONE confrontation (if you can even call it that!) between the three of us; not long after the initial conversation.  Landon and I were sitting out on Richmond late one night, and in true Tyris fashion, he popped up out of the clear blue sky.  Seeing me seated on the steps next to Landon, he looked at me and asked, "So this is what you doing now?!"  Landon responded, "Yea."  "Aight, that's what it is then."  Tyris walked away n silence; disappearing into the summer night.  That evening was over 10 years ago.  It was also the last time we addressed Tyris and I as an item.  I wasn't about to pick it back up now.  Tyris was a place I was NEVER going again...

To entertin this rhetoric was to feed it and give it life; therefore, I sat quietly.  He continued on, "Just tell me, right now, is your heart already spoken for?"  I remained stoically silent.  He asked again.  I finally responded with, "Where is your wife?!"--Yes, Tyris was married...quite recently, in fact.  "Don't worry about it, this is not about that.  Are you and him good and fine?"  "Yes."  I replied, "We are 'Good and Fine'..." for whatever that was supposed to mean to him..."Well can WE be good and fine?!" Tyris asked.  "Being as though you and I hadn't spoken in several years, I didn't know we weren't."  The conversation had officially entered into uncomfortable territory.  You know that place where you know it was about to get a WHOLE lot more cringe before it was over...Fuck it.  One thing I'm not is a Punk.  If this was going to be painful, it damn sure wasn't going to be for ME..."You're confused, Avri, and that's OK.  When it comes to us, Nothing else matters--nobody else.  WE are special."  Tyris said, mustering as much composure as his apparent inebriation would allow.  He was serious in that moment, I thought of Landon, and a surge of Pity rushed over me...slowly dissipating my irritation and aggravation with unsolicited annoyance.  I could hear Landon's voice in my head telling me that he was a mess, and to try to be kind.  I didn't have to make a terrible situation worse by being mean.  I rolled my eyes, let out an agony filled deep sigh, and finally addressed Tyris in all his Fuckery...All the while leading him OUT of my personal space; encouraging a swift exit from my house in the Nice-Nastiest way...

"No Tyris, you are the one who is confused.  Perhaps in some other life, on some alternate timeline, there's a version of Avri and Tyris that exists; but that's not me, and that's not now.  In this life, and this version of reality, its Landon and Avri.  He found ME.  In THIS lifetime, We belong to each other.  It's that simple.  It's not about you; it never was.  You gotta go home.  You have a family.  Whatever this is that you're going through, you need to allow them to be there for you, and help you through this."  By the time we arrived at these closing remarks. we were standing at my front door.  He left after making one last statement, "He's gonna destroy you..."  The dickhead in me couldn't resist, "I appreciate the heads ups!  I DO want you to do well, you know that, right?!"  I watched him descend the 1st flight of my outside steps before closing the door behind me.  My mind immediately began to race...BITCH!!WTF was that?!  Roll up, I got a story to tell!!!  But who to call first?!  Katrina?  Melanie?  Nope.  This was 'Family' Business...The only person who needed to know, was Landon...   

 

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