There They Are -Those Feelings Again...

Artist Featured: GDBee

Freshman Orientation- a week long thank you for spending a small fortune on higher education!  Landon and I barely saw each other.  If it wasn't for all the festivities to distract me, I may have been bothered.  I was trying my absolute hardest to be social; I even attended "1st Night Columbia" with my new roommate, Sylvie.  She was a quiet, sweet girl from South Jenerie, and sooo excited to finally be away from home.  I was so wrapped up in my unpacking process, I had decided to skip the whole thing.  Sylvie wouldn't hear of it.  "MISS 1ST NIGHT COLUMBIA?!"  She shrieked.  Just hearing the intensity in her voice sealed my fate; I didn't have the heart to say no.  I made a quick call to Landon, checking his progress.  He had stopped unpacking long ago, and was now sitting in his dorm room surrounded by his luggage, watching Scarface alone.  He had the luxury of a no-show roommate-for now.  I hurriedly told him about 1st NC, and that I would come over 1st thing in the morning to help him finish his room.  Through several mumbled protests, he finally agreed, and I set off to mingle with the rest of my freshman class.  I really hadn't entertained THIS aspect of going away to college.  My mind was full with my determination to emerge as a full-fledged writer.  Once Landon decided to attend school near me, I totally forgot there would be other people there too!  1st NC was a HUGE party-fireworks and all.  Tomorrow would be my 1st official day as a college student; it was all I could think about on the ride home.

Elation.  That's the best way to describe it.  It was all so new and fantastic.  I was absolutely in my element.  I had to admit, I was enjoying the introduction to higher academia WAY more than the social gatherings orchestrated by the University over the past week.  Something was happening to me; I felt something big...an AWAKENING.  Not that I had ever felt like I didn't know me; as a matter of fact, I had never been more sure of myself...this, was different.  Between engineering the perfect room setup, choosing (and dropping!) the right classes, and one freshman mixer after the next, I looked up and realized that Landon and I hadn't seen each other since the day after we arrived.  Our conversations had been brief, but I wanted to make sure I was giving him the space he needed to fully embrace this new academic environment.  We were both pretty sheltered as far as our lives back on Richmond.  As a matter of fact, for the past few moths, we had really only existed for one another, in our own little world.  Here we were individual people in two different places.  Almost as if on separate planets...

The Friday before classes started, I found myself sitting at my desk, examining my planner that was spread out in front of me.  "Oh shit, I have a completely free day!  After a week, I am FINALLY getting a moment to myself!"  It was just beginning to rain, setting the perfect scene for me to write something epic!  I grabbed a brand new blank journal, a pink pen, and my laptop before settling on my bed-I was ready!  Suddenly, I had this feeling like I should be someplace else; with SOMEBODY else..."LANDON!"  I could not believe it wasn't my initial thought to be with him!  I scrambled around the room in search of my phone.  I walked past the full length mirror on the wall, realizing I looked absolutely gross.  I needed to do something about this NOW; BEFORE the phone call.  Even though he couldn't see me, I felt he could somehow sense the hideousness through the receiver!  After I showered and got my life, I called Landon at long last.  I was kind of excited to hear about his week, the classes he had chosen, and how he was feeling about being away from home.  I figured we could finally spend a full day together, and start getting acclimated to our new college life.  I had never been on the Xavier campus prior to last week , and was looking forward to getting the whole experience.

Sitting in the lobby of Landon's dorm, I started to feel something strange and unfamiliar at the thought of him.  I figured the feeling would pass once I saw Landon, thinking it was because of how little we saw each other since we got to Columbus.  Landon stepped off the elevator, I smiled, happy as ever to see him, but the feeling still lingered.  It stuck with me the entire day; while walking through the quads, the tour of the architectural building, and finally, during the entire walk back to his dorm.  I couldn't shake it.  We spent the night together, awake for most of it, just talking.  Something was bothering me, I just didn't know what.  I laid awake for a long time, just watching Landon sleep.  I eased down slowly into his arms.  Whatever was wrong, I wasn't going to let it ruin this moment.  Whatever was coming, there was always tomorrow to worry about it.  I wanted us to stay just like this, for as long as we possibly could...